Golf is for Douche-Bags
I play golf once a year. It's enough to get an idea of whats really going on out there. I get it, I can see how it can be enjoyable. I understand that there can be great pleasure derived from Mastering the many subtlties of the game. I see the man on man competition. Who has the better Drive, the better short game, the nicer clubs, the biggest cock.
So Saturday I am invited to play golf with 7 other guys at a private club. I'm a righty who golfs lefty for reasons I wont disclose. It's hard to borrow lefty clubs, but by unincredible coincidence my father-in-law has given me his old clubs...I'm good to go.
Now these are the guys I play poker with (minus the asshole I wanted to beat-up, he's out) We're pretty much all in the same boat, Dads with fulltime jobs, houses, wives, dogs, and 2-3 kids apiece. This one guy, has $1500 to blow on a membership to a Private Golf Club...which is pretty damn cool that he can swing, the place is AWESOME....it's actually a deal...but how the hell does he have the time to play 2-3 times per week?
If you dont play golf, it takes 5-6 DAYLIGHT HOURS to play a round of golf. There's no getting around the time, it just takes that long. Thats most of the freaking day. He works a full week, and then plays Saturday and Sunday...every week! They have his name on the wall in the Clubhouse, he's ranked 7th. That just seems wacky to me, when the hell does he see his kids? When does he mow his lawn? I guess his wife does it all.
He's a nice guy, and was very generous to invite all of us, but he was pretty uptight that morning that we were going to do something to embarrass him. (It might have been all the beer cans we were shoving into our bags in the parking lot) He cringed abit when he saw my bag of clubs too. I made it a point to play in the other foursome, I didnt want him to have to see the extreme havoc I unloaded on his little bit of green heaven(I play with a 'scortched earth' technique). In fact, here's a photo of one of my many divets. (I did email him the photo after the fact though...Steakbellie cant a good oppportunity go.)
So Saturday I am invited to play golf with 7 other guys at a private club. I'm a righty who golfs lefty for reasons I wont disclose. It's hard to borrow lefty clubs, but by unincredible coincidence my father-in-law has given me his old clubs...I'm good to go.
Now these are the guys I play poker with (minus the asshole I wanted to beat-up, he's out) We're pretty much all in the same boat, Dads with fulltime jobs, houses, wives, dogs, and 2-3 kids apiece. This one guy, has $1500 to blow on a membership to a Private Golf Club...which is pretty damn cool that he can swing, the place is AWESOME....it's actually a deal...but how the hell does he have the time to play 2-3 times per week?
If you dont play golf, it takes 5-6 DAYLIGHT HOURS to play a round of golf. There's no getting around the time, it just takes that long. Thats most of the freaking day. He works a full week, and then plays Saturday and Sunday...every week! They have his name on the wall in the Clubhouse, he's ranked 7th. That just seems wacky to me, when the hell does he see his kids? When does he mow his lawn? I guess his wife does it all.
He's a nice guy, and was very generous to invite all of us, but he was pretty uptight that morning that we were going to do something to embarrass him. (It might have been all the beer cans we were shoving into our bags in the parking lot) He cringed abit when he saw my bag of clubs too. I made it a point to play in the other foursome, I didnt want him to have to see the extreme havoc I unloaded on his little bit of green heaven(I play with a 'scortched earth' technique). In fact, here's a photo of one of my many divets. (I did email him the photo after the fact though...Steakbellie cant a good oppportunity go.)
2 comments:
Yep. Gave a ring back to an ex-fiancé because he played golf every weekend while I cooked and cleaned and handled the entire responsibility of the home and errands. When I tested up and told him I wanted to spend some time together on weekends because it was affecting the relationship, he stayed, "I'm not giving up my hobbies for you" and left. Wow! I moved out and married a man who likes being with his family when he has spare time. Lol
Golfers are douchebags. Plain and simple. It is impossible to be good at golf without taking the sport very seriously and it is impossible to be a serious golfer without being a complete and utter douchebag. Golf is about pretention. They'll try to tell you it's about this or that or the other thing, buts it's all about status. Being a member at this or that club, wearing $300-500 worth of new bullshit evertime you go to the club, having $3000 worth of clubs.....oh, and don't forget the Yeti cooler on your golf cart....you can't be cool without one.
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