Thursday, August 28, 2008

Scene from my life.

Local Fast Food Restaurant
Steakbellie and his middle son walk into the restaurant and get in line to order. Ch@rlie keeps laughing to himself.

Cashier: "Can I help you sir?"
SB: (turning to Ch@r) "Do you want anything?"
Ch@r: (laughs again) "No Thanks."

SB: (looks over Cashiers head at the Menu and feigns reading) "Uhhh, jeeze...I guess, gimme Thirty-Eight Hamburgers and a Small Diet Coke."
Cashier: "Seriously?"
Ch@r: (Laughs)
SB: "Yes"

Cashier: "For You?"
Ch@r: (Laughs)
SB: "Yes"

Punk in line: "Thats alot of hamburgers"
Ch@r: (Laughs)
SB: "Yes"

Cook in Back receiving order: "Is this for real?"
Ch@r: (Laughs)
Cashier & SB in unison: "Yes!"

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Wife is Walking the Philadelphia Breast Cancer 3-Day!

So there she goes. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a 3 Day Walk, Twenty MIles a Day...SIXTY MILES that raises money for breast cancer. People that walk need to train and raise money. If you'd like to donate some money for my wife's walk click the box below. Its pretty awesome. I don't know how everyone isn't crying all the time when they do this.

Please forgive me if you have received something in addition to this. I have decided I am going to lace up my sneakers and walk for breast cancer! I am so proud of strong my mother in law has been the past few months, dealing with this nasty stuff, to show her a smidgen of how much I love her I am going to walk 60 miles, in her name. I HAVE to raise $2200.00 in order to participate so i am pulling out the big guns. Please go to the website below. if it doesn't work, ( I have been having problems sending it out through the web site) please google philly 3 day and type in my name, you should be able to donate through a search. In the meant time my best friend Kelly, and neighbor, Amy are walking as well. We will be planning a fundraising "pink " party with pink attire, pink drinks, raffle baskets, appetizers etc. Details to follow! Any volunteers to help let me know:)
Thank you in advance for your love and support!

Help me reach my goal for the Philadelphia Breast Cancer 3-Day!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Best Four Years of Your Life

Twenty-Three Years Ago I was fourteen and entering in the auditorium of my High School. It was Freshmen Orientation and I was wide eyed at gathered new students who would be in my class. They were animated with nervous excitment.

I was months away from reaching my full adult height of 6'1" and looked like a collection of sticks that was being held together by an Iron Madien tshirt and a pair of black courderoys. I had a greasy mullet, bad skin and was plauged with constant hard-ons that seemed to be inspired by absolutely nothing.

High School would be a chance for me to meet some friends or girls even, but a breakout of cold-sores on my lip that week had me folding myself into a brown metal theater chair somewhere in the back. Trying to be invisible.

I can clearly remember the speech the Principal gave. He was inspiring and hopeful and told us how these next four years would be the best four years of our lives. How we'd always look back fondly at what happened here. We would become the men and women we would be BECAUSE of our experiences in those classrooms. It was a limited time last chance to be full of hope and wonderment before being released out into the world.

Months later Bruce Springsteen would release the song 'Glory Days', which incidently is about My High School. Bruce had walked the same halls.

What the Pricipal didnt say was that the Puerto Rican kids would torture the scared White Freshmen kids for the first 6 months flicking them in the head with their fingers as they walked by. My lanky height and neary-complete-two-halves of a moustache would keep them from realizing that I wasnt an upperclassman however.

I've thought about that speech every once in awhile over the last 23 years. My theroy is that it was written before kids regularly went to college, because those four years were really the best five years of my life. The speech is handed down from principal to principal to deliver to incoming Freshmen. Everyones heard it.

Was he right? Maybe in some ways, but not completely for me. I was was too idealistic-naive-uncomfortable at the time to understand what the hell was going on.

Do they still give the speech?
I'll let you know, My oldest son is at Freshmen Orientation right now.

winner by default (eight words)

i plan
out last
all of

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

and begin

Lake Pleasant
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
i'm exhausted.

The Steakbellie calander starts and ends with my vacation in upstate New York every summer. Typically I am refreshed and eager to begin the year, but troubles at home shortened and ruined our vacation this year.

I feel like your cellphone that you really really need today but forgot to plug in last night. You're going to have to get by on only one bar today.

There's alot I want to do this coming year and I am just going to have to straighten myself out to get it done.

It's almost my 15th Anniversary and I want to take my wife away to somewhere special as a reward for dealing with me on a daily basis. That job cant be easy, people.

I want to eat 40 Hamburgers at next Months Krystal Burger Contest, because that seems like a sensible thing to do. WWSBD?

I want to run in the Philadelphia Marathon in November, because I dont know what else to do with my life, and added prolonged physical pain keeps me from becoming a zombie. or a fatty.

I'd also like to get a little more economically stable. bills keep me up at night.

I'd like to write a short story. My writing has been really flat lately, but I think thats just a mental phase, I'd like to write something and submit it somewhere just to see if it could get published. I'm pretty sure I could pull it off, just need to decide to start.....

Monday, August 18, 2008


Our 80 something neighbor stumbled in her thick shoes over the lawn. My wife sensed distress and sent me to meet her halfway. She was disheveled and weepy and her greyish blue hair wisped about in the wind.

She sat down in the grass and told me the horrible news. Her husband had left her that morning. He ran off with a girlfriend, and she used the word 'bitch' and immediatley appologized with embarrassment.

Now I was the one who was panicked and waved my wife over. Do you tell her that you know for a fact he didnt cheat on her? Do you remind her that he's been dead for 25 years? Oh Boy....

Friday, August 15, 2008

Did you know?

I was in a very long and important meeting this morning involving all of the other Senior Managers. There was talk of budgets and schedules, hirings and firings, various Security Issues. I kept thinking 'I wonder if I can swallow a White Castle Burger in a single swallow'

At lunch I bought a two pack at the dirty 7-11 and gave it a shot. I fit a whole burger in my mouth. It's takes me 2 swallows but I can actually do it without chewing at all. The force of my throat tears it apart. Isnt that fun? YAY!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Very Own Olympiad

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
This Olympics is going well for me. I've actually stayed up and watched almost every performance by Michael Phelps, which is pretty incredible because I've hated the Olympics for a LEAST a decade.

They turned me off when the American Teams started allowing it's Professional Athletes to compete, and we all know that our Professional athletes are douche-bags.

Even if we get less medals I'd rather see some poor sot from Duluth represent us after forgoing a Professional Career and Money to fullfill an Oylmpic Dream. Show me some American Idealist who has had to get by on packs of Ramen Noodles and Slim Jims. Someone who will be really crushed when they come in 4th because they devoted their whole lives to this moment. Show me THAT guy, I'll cheer for him.

Our Pros are already having a good life and dont need more success or accolades. Screw Kobe Bryant, Screw the whole US Basketball Team, give the anonymous kids their shot.

I cant help but think that swimming should have more violence in it however. You should be able to reach over the lane rope and punch that Japanese guy in the eye to try to fill his goggles with water. There's currently no Defense in swimming and that is bad.

I'm also interested in bringing Competitve Eating into the Oylmpics. Of course for completely self serving reasons. It would be 16 days of free food for me and a chance to puke on International TV. Think of the medal ceremony with 3 guys barely able to stand on the podium, sweating in discomfort. THATS a great sport. 2012? I'm already training.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Over My Shoulder (eight words)

Over My Shoulder
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
times like these
make the hard stuff

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

On China

damaged rings
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
I'm fascinated with the air and water pollution issues at the Olympics in China as they relate to the people living there. My guess is that people just sort of got used to the pollution as it slowly got worse. It's a trade off for living in a place that you can actually get a job. Many may not know any different.

My curiosity is to be what will happen socially, once the Olympics are over and China turns back on all of the Coal fired Factories and plants and allows all of the cars on the road. It will go from somewhat clear ti horrible again.

Is there going to be pushback from the people who finally saw their kids breathing cleaner air? Will these people help inspire some environmental regulation? Will the Government listen?


its in the blood
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
Back on the bike today and what a wonderful ride this morning. It's taken me a few weeks to get it fixed, and I regret I didnt have it with me in the mountains on vacation.

I've managed to keep running in small fits so I gained alittle cardio, but running is different than biking. I plan on biking the rest of the month and perhaps that will keep me somewhat sane? comparitively sane?

shut up and ride.

Monday, August 11, 2008

so much for growing up (eight words)

i am still
scared shitless

Steakbellie's Hot New Look

despite all of my energies and intentions
despite plans carried out
despite the few goals that get reached
i'm still the same piece of shit in the mirror i was

change is depressingly slow


Back from vacation and wallowing in a huge backlog of work and confusion. It was nice to get away, but problems at home pretty much ruined any bit of peace I had attained in the mountains. Everything sucks today and I just dont know where to begin....