Friday, March 31, 2006

New Tools for the Toolbox

Today I started to learn a new programming language. This is all really the first step to getting my next job. I used to pick up new tools constantly, in fact I was so proud to have the latest sharpest ones...and be the best with them.

But you get tired of being on the front line. Tired of staying ahead of everyone else. Now that I am in Management there's very little call for least here. I've gotten lazy.

So today starts the journey of 1000 miles.....

what I'd
really like to do

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

US BIKETREK 1992 part 2

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
USBIKETREK 1992 Part 1
This is an article found and scanned the super-sweet SRF. (I always liked his version of the Casper Weinberger Illustration assignment best) I'm really really happy he did this....I'm very easy to please, but this was something that I'm deeply grateful he kept.

If you click on the picture, it should open up a pdf that you can read.

There's more to come on this, but at least you can get view from a 21 year old kid for the time being.

i think the gastank might be empty....

i've got at least 3 very important articles that are sitting in my head, but i cant get more than a paragraph done before i'm completely bored with it. maybe i'm broken

Head Full of Gin Blossoms

"If you dont expect too much from me, you might not be let down....."

she had her very own:
shopping cart

New York Super Fudge Chunk (haiku)

frozen chocolate
sweet creamy moistened goodness
spoons my stress away


you dont have a blog
pda or an ipod
how cool can you be?


its not that shocking
we're all pretty callus now
i prefer good news

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

On a side note

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
I will be extinguishing the sun tomorrow for some of you people out there that pissed me off. If you notice it disappearing, paypal me your bank account(or maybe a tuna hoagie with LTO HP) and I'll reconsider.

Philly gone to shit, help us Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Man, 19, stable after Nicetown shooting Tue Mar 28, 8:23 AM ET

Man found shot to death on N. Phila. street Tue Mar 28, 8:23 AM ET

Body found at West Phila. school is identified Tue Mar 28, 8:23 AM ET

Phila. man pleads guilty in role in rape Tue

I copied the top 4 stories from the Philly Inquirer. This whole town has been spiraling into violence over the last two years. The other day there were 5 separate shootings....on a weeknight. 2 of those people died.

Compounding the trouble is a wave of violence against people who testify against the shooters. The same day as the 5 shootings, 2 people in separate cases recanted eye witness testimony saying that they 'forgot'. One of those cases was over a 7 year old boy who was killed by a stray bullet from a gunfight.

Everymorning I'm shocked at how many people were killed as I slept. At night my elevated train passes safely over the burned-out neighborhoods where the trouble is. West Philly actually LOOKS like a war zone. A block of row homes may be half inhabited at best, with one house charred, one collapsed, and two demolished and gone. The rest are boarded. Trash is blowing from pile to pile, metal rusting down, paint hanging loose.

Visually it's rich with the texture of oxidation and rubble. Unfortunately we're talking about somebody's home.....


please grant me enough retard strength to finish out this day

today is full of opportunity
i am full of distraction

Monday, March 27, 2006

Saturday, March 25, 2006

12 in 5:42

FUN FACT: 3360 Calories!

Friday, March 24, 2006

message to all ya'll reality tv producers:

whatever happened to that Elian Gonzales kid

i only want twenty (haiku)

Ten Hotdogs for Breakfast
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
i've given up beer
my ultimate sacrifice
make room for hotdogs

Sizing up the Enemy

I'm mildly amused to see The Corpse on my trolley this morning. Occasionally our schedules coincide on the ride home, but almost never on the way to work. I think he's a lawyer, and typically goes into the city earlier than me.

As always I take the first available seat on the left side of the trolley. The seats on the right face the back, and I'd rather look where I'm going. I sit down on a red and black vinyl bench seat and scoot to the window. I'm directly behind The Corpse and today he's having a hushed conversation with Sissy Spacek.

I call him 'The Corpse' because I wont have to go to his Viewing. In fact noone will, we already know what he will look like when he's laid out.

The Corspe's skin is this sickening translucent tallow color. Kind of waxy and shiny. His face is mostly expressionless, but I'm certain he wears a Sinister Grin when the office door is closed. Only his cloudy brown eyes dart about freely. My impression of him is that he is a man with a beneign, incompetant evil streak. The kind of guy who doesnt wash his hands after peeing...on purpose.

His sharp grey suit is covered by a cashmere overcoat and kakhi colored scarf. It's wrapped tightly around his neck to hide the bolts that secure his head.

Sissy Spacek is whispering to him so lowly that I cant even hear noise. Perhaps she is mouthing the words. The Corpse nods stiffly every 30 seconds or so. I wonder how old his is. Originally I thought he was in his late 40's but now that I am behind him, I see the now relaxed lines around his eyes and suspect BoTox. His hair is far to perfect to be real, I look for the weave seam. His face is COMPLETELY void of any beard shadow, like he's so old that all of the hair fell off his body.

I wonder what Sissy could be confiding in him. I wonder how they know each other. I have heard him brag to other guys how much easier it was for him to get women before his divorce. Is this his move? Perhaps he is planning on giving her phone number to telemarketers, or signing her up for unwanted magazine subscriptions. Does she know the evil patterns inscribed on his porcelan bones? The Danger?!?

Perhaps I should mind my own business and just go to work.....

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Wrestling Girls (haiku)

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Show her the respect
She came here to win trophies
and just may do it

Steakbellie Will Learn Ya

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
On windy days, always take the umbrella out of the glass table on the back deck. Otherwise you may spend an entire day prying glass chunks from between the boards with a butter knife.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


when you are dead
sunrise will happen

Today is a day for doing

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


i try not to blog about politicis too much. i get too emotional.
bush just said that we will be in iraq THROUGH 2008
we spend: $192 MILLION dollars a day on Iraq (all of it financed through foreign loans) X 1005 Days or so til bush wants them to leave gives us a grand total of $1.8 BRAZILLION DOLLARS.

He then went on to say how great the economy is...this guy is so freaking dumb, i cant believe the republicans sold our country out like this.....

entertain me....

i'm fucking freezing today.

cold and lonely.

this freaking office is driving me nuts and i wonder why i even come in when i could sit all by myself in my attic and at least have my dogs at my feet, and a cat in my lap.

my boss used the word 'blog' in conversation today and i hated him for it.

i should have run at lunch

US BIKETREK 1992 part 1

Stubborn Ignorance has served me well

My adventure started started with a phonecall in the summer of 1991. I was 20 years old and very drunk at the time, yet I somehow still remember it. It was Ray on the phone. Ray was a softspoken sweetheart who transferred from Glassboro to Rutgers to get an education.

"Hey man, there's a guy up here who's going to ride his bicycle accross the country. He did it last year with and wants to do it again next summer. He's looking for people to go with him, I thought of you, do you want to do it with me"

It was one of those moments that you just kind of get lost in the dream. The dream that anything can be done by anybody, because we're Americans and that's what we do...whatever the hell we want. With abit of a slur I bought in......"Yes"
(a few weeks later Ray and I would be arrested together in perhaps the biggest farce of shoretown policework....plenty of 'yessir's' 'please' and 'thankyou's'. It's another story, but further solidified our friendship)

"I'm going to Bike accross the United States next summer"
Say it outloud. No really say it so someone can hear you. It's like saying "I'm going to be President" or "I'm going to swim across the Chesepeke" A small percentage of people will tell you why you cant do it, but for the most part everyone else will smile and dismiss you with a 'really? well good-luck'. My own parents later admitted to me that the only reason they didnt try to stop me was that they never believed I'd do it.

There were a million reasons why people didnt believe me. I'm an idealistic dreamer. I'm not athletic. I knew nothing about bicycling beyond a normal two-wheeled childhood on a Blue Ross Eurosport. Ironically, those were the same reasons this would work out......
US BIKETREK 1992 part 2

RocketRadio: Bring home the (good) bacon

The great KatRocket has blogged the official Canadian response to my article on Americano/Canadia Relations.

She knows far too much about bacon (furthering my suspicions) and has the integrity to back up some of her claims with facts and statistics. Check it out!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sunday Afternoon, In the Kitchen

Steakbellie is having lunch. Gerber Daisee passes the door on her way up the steps.
GD: "Are you eating a hotdog?!?!"
SB: "Yeah, Why?"
GD is heard upstairs exhaling loudly then: "You're fucking crazy...."

Saturday, March 18, 2006

10 in 5.5

something to talk about

Here's a DEAD ON article on biking accross the United States. It's something that changed my life, and something I talked about alot for acouple of years after. I stopped talking about it ten years ago, mostly because of two things.
1. People who dont bike cant relate to it or understand the feat
2. People who bike dont believe me when I tell them I did it
So, pretty much everyone I've met in the last 10 years has no idea.

I've always fantasized that I would write a book about the trip to detail some of the stories, and maybe that will start here someday. I feal safe talking about it here I guess, and i think maybe that should start to come out....

The article brought back some funny memories, the wonderful people you meet along the way, the SHOCKINGLY beautiful country that exists outside of New Jersey, The intense lonilness and self-pity, the montrous joy of achievement

Thanks Sammy.....

Thursday, March 16, 2006

so true....

"there is a certain contentment when you think you have a plan that just may work"

cold blue sky (haiku)

punch to the stomach
you just cant hurt me today
go ahead and swing

Nathans (haiku)

so many hotdogs
but which one holds happiness?
must be the next one


OK, Smarty Pants
Can you guess what I'm thinking?
It it rhymes with 'Silver'


I walk with a limp
until you apologize
We all have our games


I come from
a long line of

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

'bring your bad attitude to work' day

i want to walk on by
just go, and then keep going
that Jack Kerouac kind of disapearing act

i think i'd even settle for sneaking out of work early
and playing video games against my sons

anywhere but here

why is it so strong today?

puking in the side (around the world)

this started as a haiku, that I translated to several languages and then back to English using Google. I thought it was a pretty funny result

if controls arrive above, open to CEO, which is eager for the post office

Martes en el parque

En el cuadrado de Rittenhouse paso mis horas del almuerzo, en los días que no estoy funcionando. Hoy es asoleado y muy ventoso, y hay una sensación que el tiempo está cambiando para el peor. Camino más allá de la estatua de bronce de la cabra, y admiro a niños que intentan unsuccessully subirla. Su scoot de Nannies detrás de ellos y del chastise ellos en español, una lengua que no entiendo. Cerca, absorben a sus madres ricas en sus bebidas costosas del café y cada otras conversación. Siento una paranoia suave hoy, pero pienso que es el trabajo de la depravación del cafeína... eso o realmente hay un riesgo de la violencia immenent.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Turning Over A New Leaf

As American we underestimate the Canadians.
To be blunt, the problem is the exchange rate. You can get like 1,000 Candian Ruples for a quarter, and while that might be fun, it wears off pretty quick when the shop keeper pretends to only speak French and bilks you out of all your Pink Money.

My latest theroy puts forth that Candians are actually a highly advanced society, that purposely manipulates the exchange rate so that we will overlook them and stay out of their freaking business. Here are some important facts about Canada for you to study:

* All Canadians know each other (did you ever notice that? I spent 30 years in New Jersey, and I dont know a goddamned soul over there, yet you can pull any two Candians out of a hat and they will talk about old times and get along famously)

* Canadians dont like to kill people. They dont bother saber rattling and going to strange parts of the world looking for someone to shoot. They also wont kill their own kind, I dont think they even have murder in Canada, I mean dont these people own any guns?!?!

* They drink beer with more alcohol in it. How come we didnt think of that? Highly Advanced.

* They invented Pam Anderson

I have this other theroy, that the Canadians are only nice to us because they want our recipe for Bacon. Everybody knows Candian Bacon is just a round slice of ham....dunno


when it comes to trivial meaningless bullshit,
i am a force to be reckoned with....

once this my mind is in motion
it will tend to stay in motion

until my wife yells at me

Saturday, March 11, 2006

9 in 6

Friday, March 10, 2006

awesome fyi

dont read anything into this but:
Since the Nathans Hotdog Contest started in 1916, only 31 people have been able to eat more than 20 hotdogs in the 12 minute period.

That's over NINETY YEARS!!!!!


the Sopranos comes back this Sunday
it's got to be the best thing I've ever watched
look forward to sleepy Mondays, dropping the F-Bomb

we are men

all of my goals that i list here in my heart,
involve physical pain and discomfort
but it still doesnt seem wrong to me

a different kind of crazy

in the end, it's about what we're willing to endure. We all have hammers, and it's just a matter of where you decide to hit yourself with it.

none of this really matters

you can yell and scream all you like
but i can tell your deaf ears right now
none of this really matters to anyone but you

as fucked as i am
i have my priorities straight(er)
and you'll never convince me


Thursday, March 09, 2006


My Dad is home and safe. His titanium hip is back in, and he has to take it easy for 6 weeks. He doesnt have much pain now.

Couple more details from the incident:

My Dad was pinned for 3 Hours before the Rangers were able to get him free. He described it as the most pain he's ever been in, and kept hoping to pass out.

If you are medivac'ed by the State Police, and it's a true emergency, it's free!

The prop-wash from the rescue copter was so powerful it knocked my mom over!

When you are basket-rescued off the top of a mountain, it's VERY cold....sooo cold your tears FREEZE to your face as fast as you can cry them!

He hung outside of the helicopter the entire ride!

In the XRAY, The hip bone was FOUR INCHES away from the Socket!

In the end, my family was really fortunate. Shock kills more people than injuries do, and there's nothing like tremdous pain to bring on shock.

This story would have ended very differently had my Dad not been so prepared. He has excellent cold weather gear that he wears, and had four chemical heat packs the Rangers put under his armpits to keep him from getting Hypothermia.

I think my mom might have taken some photos on her camera phone...I'm gonna try to get them!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I'm having a BBQ

Mohamed ElBaradei
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
All of you are welcome to come

I'm inviting Mohamed ElBaradei, and not because I want to be an uppity snob and talk about Nuclear Proliferation in the Middle East with the head of the International Atomic Energy Agencey...although I've been known to do so with a beer and Jart in hand.

Mostly I want to say things like:
"Mohamed ElBaradei,watch out for Dog Poop in the backyard"
"Mohamed ElBaradei, tell Mrs. ElBaradei that we loved the Potato Salad"
"Mohamed ElBaradei would you like Mustard on your Hotdog?"
"Mohamed ElBaradei, are you really choking or are you just being funny again?"

Going Out On Top

Yesterday was a Tuesday
Around 2:30pm, I was thinking about phone systems and fax rollovers. Not exciting stuff but it was what I was being paid for. Did you ever think what your loved ones were doing at any moment in time?

My sons were finishing school for the day and thinking about video games, girls and horsing around

My wife was also finishing school and thinking about my boys

My brother was sitting at his computer, thinking about Highway Intersections, and my sister? God Knows what the hell goes on in there.....

My Dad however was about 3,000 feet up, wedged in a crevice between two frozen boulders, at the summit of a mountain in Upstate New York. One of his legs was twisted around backwards, he was going into shock and screaming.

It would be hours later before my old man was finally wrenched free by the effort of 7 Rangers and placed in one of those cool baskets that dangle under enourmous rescue helicopters. I've always wanted to do that, but under different circumstances of course.

My poor Mom had to snowshoe down the Mountain in the dark before meeting up with him at the hospital. These people are in their sixties, and sometimes I wonder what they did with the poor schlubs who raised me.

Going into the OR late last night I spoke to my Dad by cellphone. He was heavily drugged and only managed "I got to do some interesting things today" before passing out. My Dad's hip was replaced a year and a half ago, and when he fell it dislodged, and twisted full around without breaking any bones. They were able to get it back in place without cutting him open thank goodness.

After the procedure, the Surgeon told him he cant fly for six weeks because of risk of bloodclots from this injury. You'd think that he'd want to take it easy anyway, but Dad started an argument because they have plane tickets to Portugal in a few weeks.

I still cant get this Phone System working....

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Well, THAT sucked....

How much does it suck that Dana Reeve died of lung cancer at 44. Here's a woman that stuck by her man after he was paralyzed and did all the hard work of caring for him 24 hours as well as the kids. We'd all love to be that strong...that giving.

Even after he died she still carried the torch for stem-cell research and for spinal cord injury treatments.

Just the heartbreak of going through his death after a decade, you'd think she'd win some kind of god-prize and live a somewhat peaceful life and get to enjoy her children and grandchildren. How about a few years of happiness, and just hanging out with a can of Tab and a bar of 'Special Dark' on the front porch?

So she dies of Lung Cancer and wasnt even a smoker. Retarted. Even I can write a better ending than that. Those kids gotta feel freaking under siege.....


Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Is there any graceful way to lick the yogurt off that foil cap? Has anyone ever had the mental strength to just throw it away without licking it first?

Monday, March 06, 2006

a small bit of friction

Frankie: "I'm giving up cigarettes for Lent"
James: "But you dont Smoke?!"
Frankie: "I'm not Catholic either......but the little man in my head is."

Oscar Reality Check

none of these people
can change the oil in their cars

top, bottom, neutral, defer (haiku)

making the effort
despite the imminent loss
dont believe in fate

end now? (haiku)

more broken than whole
software runs but doesnt work
control alt delete

Thursday, March 02, 2006

International House of Bullshit

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

your problems
just dont
excite me
the way
i pretend that
they do

that taste
of metal
in your mouth,

it's from
my talent
it's rusting....

Quit Daydreaming and get back to work

I read a quote in a Stephen King book a few months back that has stuck with me. It's something like:

"Wish into one hand
Shit into the other
See which one fills up first"

Why does that make me smile? I'm still waiting for the right opportunity to use it...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Recently Heard....

Boss: "Are you ok?"
Employee: (some hesitation) "I broke my ass"
Boss: (alittle surprised) "You broke your ass?"
Employee: (winces, turns to Boss) "I broke my ass. I could lie to you and say that I hurt my leg or my back, but I'm not going to do that. The truth is that I got very drunk, fell down and broke my ass.
Boss: (Silent, then)"You're a pretty direct person, huh?"