Thursday, December 30, 2004

California Dreaming

California Wins!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
and what do these California fuckers know anyway. Eternal Nice Weather, Girls with Boob Jobs, come on!!!! At what point to they have to develop their personality!

You know that it's alittle irritable sand under your shell to make a pearl!

How bout some dirty snow and a room full of fat people eating carbs and watching a repeat of Seinfeld. How about the coldest godamn wind blowing down the avenues, cutting through every stitch of clothing you have on like a hot chainsaw through butter.

How about the beautiful irony of the butt-ugly guy freezing his ass off in the magazine stand that is papered with covers of bent-over swim suit models.

OK sure, I'm jealous and would go in a minute, but only for a week....or two...

Another way to gauge the embarrassing $15 Million

The Republicans are going to spend $30 Million on Bush's one day inauguration party in January! Attention Red States who voted for 'Morals' and 'Compassion', your president is a fraud. You must look beyond his support for the Pro-Life movement, and see how many of his policies really show any commitment to Christianity.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Steakbellie Does the Math

Check out my scientific figurings. We've spent 220 BILLION on Iraq over the last 2 years. That's roughly 301 MILLION per day of our money!!!!!

As of today 75,000 died in the Tsunami and the number is climbing rapidly. We freaking pledged a measley $15 Million Dollars to help these people. Oh yeah, I forgot about the one-of-a-kind hand signed letter of condolence Bush sent over. They could probably auction that off on eBay for some serious cash.

Freaking Sickening.....Bush Wins....

Bird Feeder

You are a cog
Visit my Friend Birdy and leave him a comment on one of his writings!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

They're gonna want to buy a nice frame for that

Bush Wins!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
55,000 people dead as of this afternoon and over a million instantly homeless. We pledge $15 Million and give a hand-signed condolence letter from our President at the Ranch (where else?) My guess is that we spend $15 Million every hour or so over in Iraq. Supposedly THATS a humanitarian mission too.....Where are the "Armies of Compassion?" we've heard about? How about all these people who 'Voted for Morals?' Are they too busy now that someone really needs help?

Monday, December 27, 2004

Skeletor Rides the Trolley

Skeletor Wins!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
I have this sneaky suspicion that this old lady who commutes on my Trolley, is actually Skeletor, from the Masters of the Universe. Skeletor doesnt realize it, but I actually met her a few years ago when my youngest son was taught by Amy (Skeltors Daughter) at preschool. I pointed out to my wife the amazing resemblance, but I dont think she really appreciates that information.

It's not that this lady is particularly old or wears a two tone blue body suit. It's just that she has a skull for a head. Her paper thin yellowish-green skin is stretched accross her face so tightly, and her eyes sink in unnaturally deep. I think if you wanted to poke her in the eye, you'd have to go elbow deep.

She has the tiniest nose, just like Skeletor would. Skeletor also draws her eyebrows on (further proof that she has a skull for a head)

Her hair is super short like a Buzz Cut. At first I thought she was recovering from Chemo or something, but after seeing her on my Trolley with the same short hair years later, I know that she's actually The Master of Evil. My guess is that the hair is glued to her skull to make her look more human.

She wears this big Animal Fur Jacket, which I now suspected she pelted from Battle Cat(HeMan's Tiger that he used to ride around on).

To further complicate my investigation, I get off before Skeletor does. I guess I should pick up a schedule to see if my line stops at Snake Mountain.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

At the Trophy

The Trophy Wins!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

So here I am at the Trophy, three blocks from my house. It's the crappiest of the 3 bars in town, but is clean and well frequented. The DJ sits awkwardly in the corner jammed in behind a folding table that holds his cd player and several orange milkcrates of cds. I ask him to play some Alice in Chains. He says 'sure' but I know he wont play it. I listen to his first few songs and understand why he's at the Trophy.

Next to the DJ is the remains of a free buffet. Scraps of fried something litter the paper plates left on table. It was probably something like Onion Rings and French Fries.

I'm completely invisible to everyone here, yet they magically part when I walk back to my spot against the wall. Invisible to eveyone but the bartender that is. I tip a full dollar per Guniness which makes me a pretty big tipper here amongst the groups of construction workers and college kids. Mr Fucking Bigshot in his shirt and tie doesnt ever have to wait for a beer anymore.

The four Italian looking guys drinking Bud Light bottles next to me are bragging to each other how Irish they are. I close my eyes and listen to their Philly accents. They're all dressed in sweatshirts, jeans and untied workboots. Later on, the oldest insincerely complains that he'd love to still be in the Union with them, but had to take the Foreman job because of his 4 kids.

With my eyes closed I can see my sons coming in here for a beer in eight years or so. It'll be eleven years before the oldest is legal, but I doubt that will stop them. Did it stop me?

I watch some college kid rock out when they the DJ plays a Primus song. I was in college when the song came out, and I'm guessing he was around 8 or so. He doesnt know shit.

MixMaster follows it up with a Neil Diamond song. I look over at the Foreman who gets quiet, remembering back aways...I guess it's my turn not to know shit.