Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Worth Sitting Through The Commercials Unless You Are A 'Value's Voter'

If you havent scene this it's SNL's second week of fun with Sarah W. Palin. Whats really scary is that they kept alot of Couric's Interview word for word.

an open haiku to congress (haiku)

to spend is to tax
you are blowing our future
better learn chinese

father to son (eight words)

Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
how exactly
do you
think you're
getting home?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Ode to Fusion Man, National Hero of Switzerland

You know there was a time when if someone put on a fancy silk suit and strapped themselves to a rocket you could be damn sure they were an American. Can anyone be surprised now to hear that this man is from Switzerland? Only a month ago they finished building a Proton Collider, and they ice the cake with Fusion Man.

He built that Rocket Powered Wing all by himself and then shot himself over the English Channel.

Sure we've made inroads with Hot Dog Eating and Bicycle Racing, but since the death of Evel Kineval who can we look to for Rocketing Across Canyoning?


We have the guy with the lawn chair and the Helium Balloons, I dont want to get down on him. He's a good guy.

I think as Americans, the world is looking for us to do something stupid (that doesnt involve killing Arabs) and we have been letting them down.

I see Fusion Man as a wake up call to all of us as a Nation. This is the launch of Sputnik, People!

I need to learn how to weld. I need to do something great.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

i was the sweetest, idealist, most bowl cutted little guy

If I could relive
my youth
I'd make a big Iron Fist
with my Dad's Propane Torch
in our Epoxy coated basement
and I wouldn't be afraid
to beat the shit out of a few fuckers

a short but distinct list (eight words)

i dream
of punching
you in
the eye

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

i've always felt you can burn the impurities from your body

One of those days that when I get home, I am going to dump a pile of cayenne pepper powder on my food....so much that it hurts alittle bit going down. so much that my wife can smell it from accross the table and start sneezing....so much that I'll instantly start sweating on my forehead and on the back of my neck. If there were a record for cayenne pepper, i'd own it tonight.

Crazy as it is, thats what will make me feel better.

I'll say the exact same joke that I've said for years too. 'Boy Honey, these noodles sure are spicy.' as if they came like that. as if they were supposed to be red and not pale yellow.

I used to use Hot Sauce, but I'd put so much on my food that the sodium would keep me thirsty for days.

Just a shitty day, and i'm hoping to sweat it out. If you put enough on, you'll forget about everything else. I promise.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Law of Diminshing Expectations

I was planning on running the Philadelphia Marathon on November 23. I have an online schedule of training that I've been following for a few months. I've been able to train during the week, running 3-5 miles 3 days a week, but havent been able to pull of the long runs on the weekends. These weekend runs are really important as they are the ones that really prepare you for the humbling punishment of a marathon. I've run this one before. Just a long time ago, and somewhat skinnier.

Reasons I havent been to run on the last 3 weekends?
* Hamburger Eating Championship
* Kids Football Games & Painting Bathroom
* Really Drunk

I've gotten up to 7.5 miles in my long runs, but really people, it's the UGLIEST 7 miles you've ever seen. I feel like a shopping cart with that one fucked up wheel. Shuddering down the road drifting from one side of the road to the other, dropping sweat and profanity all over the road. It's bad.

There was a time that I'd make myself do the Marathon anyway...or just straight out Quit. "Suck it up Asshole."
Black or White

Along with the Grey that some of you avery kind people have pointed out in my beard I think I have a middleground decision.
I'm going to run the Philadelphia Half-Marathon on the same day.

I have enough training to pull it off already and I wont be completely killing myself to finish.

trapped (eight words)


it's out there (eight words)

i looked
for it
and i
found it

Friday, September 19, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Get Ready for the World Biggest Money-Grab!

Just when I thought we couldnt get screwed any worse, Bush is about to use taxpayer money to bail out and reward Companies who did stupid and unethical things. The people who actually hold those mortgages wont get any releif, but the burden of this whole fiasco is about to be put on the Middle Class....or more likely the Children of the Middle Class.

Not only are we borrowing money from China to pay for this war, but we're borrowing even more to pretend our Economy is ok. George Bush has the Country living off a credit card and doesnt care about the bill because he will be gone by then.

Be very afraid when the Administration is moving this quickly and the Stock Market jumps 800 points in 12 hours...They know who's getting the money!

The Hopeful Republican Astronaut (eight words)

I can see
the moon
from my

(thanks anon comment on previous post!)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Finally a Republican Realist

Here's some quotes from an Interiew with Republican Senator Chuck Hagel considering how his party is selling Palin. Emphasis by me.

"She doesn't have any foreign policy credentials," Hagel said in an interview published Thursday by the Omaha World-Herald. "You get a passport for the first time in your life last year? I mean, I don't know what you can say. You can't say anything."

Could Palin lead the country if GOP presidential nominee John McCain could not?

"I think it's a stretch to, in any way, to say that she's got the experience to be president of the United States," Hagel said.

McCain and other Republicans have defended Palin's qualifications, citing Alaska's proximity to Russia. Palin told ABC News, "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."

Hagel took issue with that argument. "I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia,'" he said. "That kind of thing is insulting to the American people."

Hagel, a senior member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has been a vocal critic of the Bush administration since the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

I'm a Feminist, but there's no way in Hell I'm voting for someone just because they are a woman. This woman believes that the Earth was created by God just 7,000 years ago and that an actual Adam and Eve co-existed with DINOSAURS. We just spent the last 8 years under the helm of someone else with a childlike fantasy distortion and it has destroyed our Country.

She believes that the Iraq War is a 'Task From God' although recently tried to backpedal and say she was quoting Abe Lincoln during the Civil War. Who actually believes she knows anything about Abe Lincoln and would have been able to draw from his writing for some speech she was giving in a Church? Clearly that was some Karl Rove type coach trying to package her extremist views as informed or as Centrist.

It would be a bad message to the rest of the world if McCain became President, but I know he'd be better than the current embarrassment. If Palin were to somehow to end up President, I think it would be the end of our Country. We dont need any more lunatics at the helm.

And why do these freaks always think God is on our side?


The Boys
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.
I realized this morning that it's been years since one of my sons stood below me and raised his arms to be picked up. A good portion of young parenthood is spent carrying those little monkeys around. They are too tired or asleep or dont like the feeling of sand on their feet.

It's exhausting but it's feels so good to have their arms around your neck.

They are too big or too proud now to need me like that. I dont think I could even pick up the older two in anything other than a Firemans Carry anymore. Sometimes I get to carry the baby to bed when he falls asleep in my room though. It's nice because I can smell his sweaty hair.

I remmber thinking about this years ago when the oldest was breaking 100lbs. I started lifting weights so I wouldnt have to tell him I couldnt carry him.

There must have been a last time though. I'm sad because I cant remember it. If I knew it would be the last time, I probably wouldnt have put them down though....

I miss that.

Neo Foreign Policy (eight words)

i can see russia


and I love her with all my heart!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

knoxville (haiku)

rain on the fairgrounds
darkness replaces the crowds
he was so damn close

Friday, September 12, 2008

Anybody Gotta a Ratchet Set?

If this Super-Collider wont destroy the planet,
then I'm going to make one that will.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Steakbellie really bored with Steakbellie

The Office of Minerals Management Service

Arent we supposed to be lamenting 9/11 today? Instead I've drawn the above illustration over my frustration yet again with the 'Values' of this Administration. The people of the Office of Minerals Management have been giving away our natural resources for sex, drugs and vacations. No wonder the Republicans want to keep drilling.

In a way we ALL got screwed, just differently.

Drill Baby Drill!

Go ahead, counter this theft by telling me Obama is secretly a Muslim again, Mr Limbaugh.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

LHC (yeah, you know me!) (haiku)

quark-gluon plasma
condense for me a black hole
so we wont be bored

Monday, September 08, 2008


I'm back from Atlanta and had a great time. I'll write up the contest in a day or two, when I get some time.

I think maybe my post about the RNC Convention gave some people the impression that I would be voting Republican this year. Waaaaay not the case. I'm just looking at the lesser of Evils and actually grateful that they put up McCain instead of some lunatic like Huckabee or Romney.

Friday, September 05, 2008


I'm headed down to Atlanta for tomorrow's Krystal Burger Qualifier. There are 7 Qualifiers over 2 months all around the South. The winner of the qualifiers plus the top 3 non winning totals move on to the Championships in Chattanooga.

Those of you in Atlanta, it will be at the Lenox Square Mall at 2pm. Typically these are held at State Fairs so I'm excited to be indoors!

Krystal Burgers are about 5 grams heavier than a White Castle and are sold throughtout the South. I have a minor disadvantage as I cant train with the real thing but Wing Kong and I have worked out a good surrogate.

Two years ago I ate 23 in 8 Minutes. Last year I ate 31. I hope to break 40! this year. Last year 41 was good enough to make the Wild-Card but I'd be surprised if it wasnt at the 50 Burger mark now.

Most of the Pro Eaters agree that this is the best run contest on the circuit, it's really nice that they put alot of care into the food prep as well. Many contests dont bother to serve you the best stuff. Krystal is also putting up $50,000 split up to the finishers at the finals!!

Here's a news release that mentions me!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

That sinking feeling

It's amazing to me that the Republicans have nominated John McCain. I've been a fan of his for a long time and while I dont agree with everything he does, I feel he is competant and be a fine President in most years. The current Republican leadership has never liked McCain, but I think they are backed into a corner because of what a freaking mess they have made.

The pairing of Palin as a VP has really made this whole thing bizarre though. Within hours people are savegly defending someone they had never even heard of before. They are defending her against the very same attacks they used against Obama.

Some of the things I dont like:
* Obviously the familiy is going through a rough patch and I think people in general should back off criticism. It kinda gets my goat though that these same people shove an abstinence only message down all our throats when the statistics show that leads to MORE pregnancies. I certainly dont want my kids to have sex, but leaving them to figure it out on their own is pretty fucking dumb.

* Stop parading the baby-daddy around like he spends his summers yachting with the Bush's. He's an 18 year old hockey player who until 2 days ago had a MySpace page that described himself as: "I'm a fuckin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick ass." I'm actually fine with all that, but the reality is that the kid is in big trouble and shouldnt be on stage shaking hands with John McCain and waving to a TV audience of millions.

* Believe it or not there are some well educated people out there that think the Iraq war, it's expense, the loss of our precious soldiers, and several HUNDRED THOUSAND dead Iraqi's is ok...and why do they think it's ok? Because Bush said that 'God Told Him To Do It'. Palin believes this same crap. How is this rational? These same people LOVE the Constitution when it comes to their firearms but disregard it when they drag us into their own religeous wars. If God really wants some ass kicked, than this war should be paid for by the Offerings on Sunday. I'm not paying to fund their hatred anymore.

* So I listened to the Convention on the radio abit and heard some of Rudi Giuliani's speech. He's another Centrist (see Birdy Comment) that I've liked for a long time. He was extremely effective in cutting into Obama.

What sickened me though was the crowd reaction that stopped his speech during his segment about energy. 50,000 bloodthirty people chanting "DRILL BABY DRILL!!!!" over and over again made me realize that these people dont know, and dont care to know, the problems this country and world are facing. It's offensive actually.

Dont my wife know it.

"We pros take it very seriously," he said. "If we let on how serious we took it, we'd look like idiots."

-Humble Bob Shoudt, after beating Joey Chestnut in a Cincinnati Chili Eating Contest this past weekend. (He ate 13.5lbs of the stuff!!!!)

This is the most resonating and brilliant quote I've ever read.....