Ode to Fusion Man, National Hero of Switzerland

You know there was a time when if someone put on a fancy silk suit and strapped themselves to a rocket you could be damn sure they were an American. Can anyone be surprised now to hear that this man is from Switzerland? Only a month ago they finished building a Proton Collider, and they ice the cake with Fusion Man.

He built that Rocket Powered Wing all by himself and then shot himself over the English Channel.

Sure we've made inroads with Hot Dog Eating and Bicycle Racing, but since the death of Evel Kineval who can we look to for Rocketing Across Canyoning?

Who?

We have the guy with the lawn chair and the Helium Balloons, I dont want to get down on him. He's a good guy.

I think as Americans, the world is looking for us to do something stupid (that doesnt involve killing Arabs) and we have been letting them down.

I see Fusion Man as a wake up call to all of us as a Nation. This is the launch of Sputnik, People!

I need to learn how to weld. I need to do something great.