Monday, June 13, 2005

Galapogos (or 'Son of Sir Robin')

Fight or flight.
Evolutionarily speaking, I have decended from those who ran away. It's the only way I can explain why I dont have an ounce of muscle on my body. I've been lifting weights (with Vigor, mind you!) for 3 years now. The first year I doubled my muscle mass, and nobody noticed. Doubling sounds impressive until you realize that doubling .1 only gives you .2, the second year of lifting doubled my muscle mass again. So now I'm almost as muscular as a homeless person....or maybe Ben Stiller.

I continue to make great gains in Strength, but the little muscle I have only serves to push all the fat out farther....depressing. Hard work should produce results, right?

So over the last several hundred thousand years, as invaders swept across my motherland of Scotland, and warriors pounded their chests, painted their faces and muscular bodies blue, waved swords over their heads screaming....those of the line of Steakbellie, stretched their hamstrings and ran the opposite direction looking for a pub that might still be open, or possibly some girl who has been left alone by a tough guy at war.

I cant stand running, I really hate it...but I will resist the call of my fathers no more....I'm on the road again....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting because then, evolutionarily speaking, society would eventually polarize, being composed of only the hardiest fighters (the ones that survivied) and the greatest cowards. Once again, the middle gets pinched.