What if it worked?
I'm an optimist
It's something that I inhertited from my Dad. Even as Cynical & Sarcastic as I get with time and experience, I always find it creeping into my head 'what if there's a way to make it work?'
Alone in my head, I find myself trying on the shoes of my enemies. Thinking what they are going through, empathizing with their situations. Fantasizing ways to bridge the gaps and reach out. I dont always do it, but I do play around with the options. Alot of times I silently forgive enough so that it doesnt haunt me. I forget.
It's the kind of mentality that didnt always serve me well growing up. Girls dumped me and people took advantage of me, because I didnt realize that they had different intentions. I got hurt easily, but caloused with age. In fact I can be pretty hard now at times.
I had a conversation with my wife today that sparked something in me. I've been upset with my job and have a crappy attitude. There's no future here and no matter what happens I'll still leave next year...but what to do with the time over the next several months. I could sit here are rot or get something done...there's things I want to learn, projects I'd rather not leave unfinnished...Someone inside me groaned when I realized I might make myself work for nothing other than integrity....But thats something thats still important to me I guess.....we'll see if it sticks or if I slog back down after the next inane conversation with my boss....
It's something that I inhertited from my Dad. Even as Cynical & Sarcastic as I get with time and experience, I always find it creeping into my head 'what if there's a way to make it work?'
Alone in my head, I find myself trying on the shoes of my enemies. Thinking what they are going through, empathizing with their situations. Fantasizing ways to bridge the gaps and reach out. I dont always do it, but I do play around with the options. Alot of times I silently forgive enough so that it doesnt haunt me. I forget.
It's the kind of mentality that didnt always serve me well growing up. Girls dumped me and people took advantage of me, because I didnt realize that they had different intentions. I got hurt easily, but caloused with age. In fact I can be pretty hard now at times.
I had a conversation with my wife today that sparked something in me. I've been upset with my job and have a crappy attitude. There's no future here and no matter what happens I'll still leave next year...but what to do with the time over the next several months. I could sit here are rot or get something done...there's things I want to learn, projects I'd rather not leave unfinnished...Someone inside me groaned when I realized I might make myself work for nothing other than integrity....But thats something thats still important to me I guess.....we'll see if it sticks or if I slog back down after the next inane conversation with my boss....
7 comments:
Who is this "someone inside you"?
Is it like...a litle tiny midget?
Did you swallow him?
it's one of those things I'm not going to write down. Maybe someday if you get me drunk enough we can talk about it.
well if THAT doesnt sound f'ing crazier....
nuttin' wrong with having pride in your work, not wanting to leave a bunch of crap in your wake...absolutely nothing wrong with working for a bit of integrity...
There is, however, something wrong with swallowing a midget :)
I think you should use this blog as an opportunity to host career-strategy sessions. Post questions you want us to answer, things that will help you. Let us encourage you, demean you, motivate you, etc.
Personally, I like to drink.
Isn't that the definition of character? : Who you are when no one else is looking.
Also, in times like these I think it is good to remember that the circumstance of my life do not make me who I am, they reveal who I am.
(um, that goes for you too.)
Aye Lassie, that's pretty dead-on again!
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