The problem with the Baby....
There have been further developments in the article I wrote about the athletic prowess of my youngest son here. I dont think I did a good job communicating my feelings about this....and honestly it's not a problem but confusion & concern on my part, the kid's fine...in fact he's great.
I have a considerable amount of pride in the work ethic of my sons, especially when it comes to sports. I dont get too concerned about wins and losses because I want them to have both. All of my best and most vivid memories of their wrestling matches were matches that they lost. I praise courage shown...extra kisses for continuing to fight in the third period despite an obviously superior foe. I want them to push themselves when they are exhausted, and realize that their limits are much deeper than they suspected.
So what's the problem? The baby scored FIVE touchdowns last night.
Five. If I had him on my Fantasy Football Team it would have been good for 55 Fantasy Points, almost a whole teams worth.
I DONT demand excellence from these kids, but this one is delivering it.
Why the hell am I concerned? If he's a true Phenominum....It's completely unfamiliar ground...what can I possibly teach this kid? I know about sitting the bench, I know about being picked last.
How do I develop his talent? How do I keep him concerned with thing like school, and social relationships. How do I make him a man and not a dick.
I'm concerned about the relationship between him and his brothers. They play all the same sports as him. Last year the baby wrestled at the age of 5. Most of his oppenents were 6-8, and he won more than half of them....what happens this winter that he will be a similar age to his pool of opponents. How do I encourage them when they are losing, and the baby is winning match after match? The same issue with swim team, he had to swim with the 8 year olds this summer and (thank god) the only 8 year old that could beat him was his older brother....but it was always by inches. Next summer probably wont play out the same way.
Furthermore, the genetics are fascinating, how was he able to pull this off with my 50% DNA? Last week as he was running into the endzone for the second time, I told my wife "Well, that just proves I'm not the father!"
4 comments:
Maybe you show all 3 sons the same level of support - that being better at sport doesn't make you a better person, just a better sportsman. That excelling is a prideful endeavour for the family, but gloating will NEVER be tolerated. That authorities are to be obeyed; that excellence coupled with humility and hard work equals greatness.
Remember: you are raising an adult, not coddling a sports prodigy. You can be a statistician ("5 touchdowns!") and fan ("most of his opponents were 6-8...") and be prideful ("All of my best and most vivid memories of their wrestling matches were matches that they lost."), but you will always be their father. Your role hasn't changed.
Be proud. Stay the course.
5 touchdowns?! HOLY CRAP!!! :)
Intersting challenges, and important. Wow.
I don't have kids, but I have a brother who's just over a year older and one whose just over a year younger. We're very different, and my parents did a great job with my older brother and me in terms of convincing us that what we did was good and important and valuable, even though they were in completely different areas. So, my older brother and I grew up happy, fairly "normal" etc. My kid brother, on the other hand, somehow thought he had to be good at everything I was good at, and everything his other brother was good at. He was (and is) driven. My parents didn't do anything to make him feel that way - it was in his nature. So now he's the most successful career -wise of the tree of us, but he's a workaholic and I don't think he stops to smell the roses. I don't think he's ever been really happy. There's always something else he's "got to do".
Not much help here... just rambling I realize. I guess that's why they say being a father is a tough job. There is no book on it that you can turn to page 85 for answer to question 9b... Good luck amigo!
Dude... you're doing fine. The fact that you're cognizant that your parenting is what will help shape him... all of them... well you've outpaced most of your peers. Just love them all, remind them they're important to you no matter what they do. That's all a kid ever wants, to know you're proud of who they are and what they do no matter what it is. They'll be fine. And so will you!
Anon- Thats sort of what I'm left with...I dont know what else to do but just sort of ignore his super-powers and continue what I've been doing and hope he turns out ok.
DK- thats exactly what I want to avoid with the little one. He's so freaking competitive on top of being talented that I dont want that I'm afraid he will ALWAYS compete with them rather than cheer them on.
Groovy- Thanks!
Sangroncito- This is the longest vacation ever! The rest of us are waiting to be enlightened & entertained!
:)
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