Chix Hate Beards
It's a scientific fact that I have proven over the last few weeks. I grew a beard and not one goddamn chick on the street gave me a second look.
My theory is that guys grow beards to intimidate other guys, the same way chix buy things like handbags, shoes and candles to impress other chix.
It's pretty stupid to think that some facial hair will intimidate somebody. All is says is that I have enough testosterone in my blood to fill a 55 gal drum, and I'm sick of dragging a razorblade accross my face.
So I keep my beard neat and presentable for work, but the day before the competition I'm going to shave it like the guy in the photo. Unfortunately I'll probably look more like Lemmy from Motorhead than Triple H.
So why am I doing it? To intimidate somebody!!! HA!
My theory is that guys grow beards to intimidate other guys, the same way chix buy things like handbags, shoes and candles to impress other chix.
It's pretty stupid to think that some facial hair will intimidate somebody. All is says is that I have enough testosterone in my blood to fill a 55 gal drum, and I'm sick of dragging a razorblade accross my face.
So I keep my beard neat and presentable for work, but the day before the competition I'm going to shave it like the guy in the photo. Unfortunately I'll probably look more like Lemmy from Motorhead than Triple H.
So why am I doing it? To intimidate somebody!!! HA!
6 comments:
I have actually asked girls this very question because I too hate dragging a razor across my face. So, ever since I could grow any facial hair (Um...that would be about the time I was graduating college) I have grown Soul Patches, Moustaches, Van Dykes, Beards, Jawlines, Scruff (a lazy yet popular one for me) and just about everything else. I mix it up pretty regularly in fact. Anyway, I will never forget this:
"Sometimes...sometimes texture is good", she said.
"Like for kissing", I asked.
"No. Not for kissing", she smiled.
the goat-t has always been successful for me for similar reasons, and even you arent as lazy as I am when it comes to shaving...i had to shave every half hour to look clean.
i think they can look past scruff, but for the girl on the street, you wont get a smile with a full beard. It's like being invisible!
My POV: full beards are not for me. I love a scruffy face - soul patch, goatee, 1/2 grown beard w/moustache. Nothing long. It's that bad-boy look - even on an MBA from U of Chicago & it's sexy.
BTW: Most of my friends insist on clean shaven men. I don't understand it.
And yes, sometimes texture is good.
Dudes don't really grow beards to intimidate do they? I can't see your face so I can't tell if you're kidding :-)
Most chicks think beards/facial hair is itchy and/or you're hiding something. Or sometimes a goatee is like a guy is trying to hard to be fashionable.
I think what did it for me was experiencing the flavor of someone's lunch in their mustache. It was icky. I was done.
WOW thanks for the insight ladies!!!
I love the lunch on the mustache anecdote!!!
With or without facial hair, the texture is ever-present, and I agree -- it can be a good thing.
And BTW, I have never purchased a handbag, shoes, or candles to impress chix. I buy them to intimidate men, obviously because I cannot grow a beard.
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