Attention All Employees
First I'd like to congratulate everyone on another successful year here. I am happy to announce that this year, you will be able to 'Make Your Own' Christmas Bonus. Please look in the break room for all the supplies you will need.
We have provided: several packs of multi-color construction paper, glue, glitter, smelly markers, safety sissors (one green handled ones for you awkward leftys) and some dry maccaroni.
Feel free to contruct your Christmas Bonus during your lunch break or even after hours. Please be considerate of others and construct only one Bonus per Employee.
Happy Holidays
6 comments:
Glitter? Cool. I almost wish you were my boss.
Honey,
If I were the Boss?
There would be actual MONEY in the Christmas Bonus.....
What's a Christmas Bonus, Virginia?
wish I knew, Bill....
No one gets those anymore. My only experience with Christmas bonuses comes from TV. When I was a kid, I asked my dad about his Christmas bonus. He told me he didn't get one. He worked for the gov't, so that would violate church-state separation.
Of course if you gave people Christmas bonuses today, you'd also have to have Ramadan bonuses, Chanukka bonuses, Kwanzaa bonuses, Voodoo bonuses, Winter Solstice bonuses, and Atheist bonuses. I'd like getting all those bonuses, but my boss would probably not like handing them out.
That's garbage... the Christmas bonus was never about "Jesus", it was a nice time to show appreciation to hardworking people who were part of an organization. My bud, who works for the private sector, still gets a Christmas bonus. Even the government "allows" for a "party" which uncle Sam picks up the tag for, but in recent years, these funds go to charity, on behalf of us all --- without our consent of course. It's one more thing our temporary political appointee gets to list to show her magnanimity where spending of public funds are concerned. Like Laura Bush announcing the increase in funding this week to the anti-Malaria crusade in the world. She gets credit for spending our money on this worthy cause, with our money -- something like the new Evita Peron. I'm happy for the donation, but the obscure public head of the project should have made the announcement, instead of the First Lady, whose announcement's intent was to demonstrate how generous the Bushie's are -- with American tax dollars. I know I've strayed from the point, but geez, it is so disgusting and misleading. I guess your company falls into the same category - pretending to something while side-stepping anything meaningful. The reak of hypocricy is worse than doing nothing at all, and it drives me nuts. God, I need a Valium, or something... In any event, best wishes to you and your sane family for a meaningful holiday season, brother.
dK
Post a Comment