I think I could be happy at Home Depot
I was in a meeting the other day and somebody was talking about a document that would be sent to us to read, nod our heads and sign. They called the document 'The Memorandum of Understanding' and all I could think of was...'What the HELL am I doing with my Life?' Why am I listening to this bullshit?!?!
It reminded me of riding an elevator in Manhattan with a girl from Sales and I was smiling through all of her jabbering, nervously watching the lights move accross the brass panel....until she said 'I'm trying to think outside the box about this'. I was so instantly revolted for some reason, I coughed and considered throwing up on her.
I couldnt be in the same room with her again.
Words can strike me like a hammer sometimes....i know, I'm crazy....
7 comments:
My dream job is to be the guy who stands in the road during construction when there is only one passable lane with the sign that says "stop" on one side and "go" on the other. I'm serious.
I understand completely.
I hate when people use any sort of corporate catch phrase. I despise sales and marketing of all sorts. I never want to show anyone the "view from 30,000 feet". I don't want anyone to be "on the same page". I don't want any art or text that "pops". These are the linguistic crutches of mental deficients who are incapable of expressing what they actually want or need in any sort of specific way and therefore rely on vague pseduo-intellectual jargon. By saying that she was "thinking out of the box" she was, in fact, squarely and completely within the box. I suspect she may have been retarded or perhaps a drunken devient, but I will never know this for sure. You should have thrown up on her. You could have started a new corporate catch-phrase. She would have had to "think out of the puke".
Thats me. Mr. Sensitive.
Thanks Sangroncito!
birdy, you have me laughing... you're soooo right about the word 'pops'. I think i need to mentally que an article on visual design, and the lack of skill people have descibing what they see. It's so ironic considering what a visually sophisticated soceity we've become.
Thanks for your kind words Sangroncito! I dont consider myself a writer, but I do feel really good about writing lately...
Birdy, I'll let you steal some of that thunder(...but only because you paid for steaks and beers last time)
DK,
I'd LOVE that job, I'd probably need a shovel though to move the ashphalt around. That would be more 'me'
Flagging, the technical term for that paddle-guy job. Yes it is stress free and pays $25 an hour plus great benefits, but those damn car fumes are the worst. Also, if you are like me and prone to sexual daydreaming, you run the risk of standing there with a boner for all the motoring public to see.
Anonymous,
LOL, there are worse things (and I don't mean the car fumes...) Too funny.
Post a Comment