Ungrateful Little Jedi Bastards

jedi
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

My Paternal Grandmother to me to see Star Wars. I was 6, we drove into NYC, saw the movie, and got dinner in China Town. She bought me a little airplane toy that winds up and moves around like a car.

My Maternal Grandmother and Grandfather took me to see The Empire Strikes back. I made them sit in the front row. My grandmother told me to tell her if Han ever gets out of the Carbonite.

I dont recall who I saw Jedi with.

All of those people are dead now. It's been 28 years building to the final movie. I based my childhood on it, for years we ran through the woods and the yards playing Star Wars. Everybody always fought to be Luke, that was fine for me, he was a pussy. I wanted to be Han Solo...Han Solo with a light saber of course....a stick about 3 feet long.

Last night I stood in my driveway barefoot bbq'ing dinner watching my 3 sons and 4 neighboring boys beat the hell out of each other with sticks. "I'm Anakin!!!" "No, I'M Anakin!!!" They used Pine Cones as "Force Bolts" and started a Jedi tournament. They made up rules, if you get hit in the hand or arm or leg, you cant use it....same rules we used 28 years ago.

The whole thing went chaotic, and they laughed through various disputes over who was the champion. I finnished the chicken and vegetables and picked up my own stick and challenged them all. I wont have a bunch of brats claiming to be top Jedi, when I'm the Pope of the Jedi...not in my back yard. I defeated every last one of those punks, and only lost my left arm in the process. My 6 year old hit my thumbnail pretty hard and split it abit. I ran my saber through him and moved onto the next.

So anyway I'm stooked to see the new movie, but patient (read as 'old') enough to not have to crowd and fight my way to opening night. So my neighbor goes out the other night and buys a bunch of tickets. He's taking my sons...I wanted them to come with me, when I go....all is lost...all is lost....I'm a lonely fucking Jedi....