The Tattoo of Dorian Gray

You've seen a woman like the one I'm talking about. She's older now, late 30's early 40's but still dresses like she did when she was 22 and hot. Her hair's in the same late 80's mess, and now she applies twice the makeup that she once did in order to cover up the train wreck she's become. Dressing like a 22 year old does not make you a 22 year old.

This particular lady was probably hot. You can tell because she acts like she still is, shuffling around in front of the other kids Dads, and then tossing her hair around and trying to catch them looking at her, because she's pretty sure that they are. Sure we're all aging and dealing with our own issues but it's kinda funny because this particular woman hit the wall pretty hard at one point and nobody told her. However blessed she was before, she has now completely swung the other way. She really believes she's a knockout.

Her husband has this big-ass unfortunate tattoo portrait of her on his shoulder, down his arm. The drawing is mediocre and stiff. His skin has aged, and the damage from the sun has caused the hard dark tattoed lines to blur. The face looks alittle jumbled now as his muscles arent as big as they once were and the skin is sagging. He's way proud of his trophy wife and displays this tattoo like an ownership paper for all to see with sleeveless black t-shirts year round. Kind of like when my Mom buys a new car and then drives around with that white paper in the back door window until it falls off.

In my head he's beaten up 50 guys who smiled back at her when she flirted with them at the Motley Crue concert when they played at JFK Stadium in 1986.

So the funny thing is, the poorly done tattoo gets more and more acurate as the years go on. When they are in the nursing home together the nurse will finnish changing his diaper and say "It's like a photo!"