down in a hole

PetSmart: buying crickets

There's a thirty year old man engrossed reading the back of a small $35.00 bag of dogfood. He has brought his dog with him to the store and I questions his motives why he would do that. He has on a kahki baseball cap.

A third of the customers here have brought their various dogs with them I wonder if this is a sign of the apocolypse, or at least the downfall of white America.

It's actually a 'non-dog' that this particular guy has with him, one of those 6lbs white fluffy things with fur in their eyes that yip all day long. The non-dog is pulling him absently on the lease to investigate a smell.

I step into the dogs space and invite the little fucker to bite my ankle.

A movie plays in my head where the dog actually bites down, and I punt it clear into the next isle. It makes a satisfying 'yip' sound on it's way through the air.

Angry patrons who refuse to stand up for even their own children, rain down upon me with drooling rage. I am beaten with hardened cow-hide chewtoys, as I plead self-defense. A fat dental assistant in scrubs drags me out onto the 100 degree sidewalk. She has an ugly tattoo on her ankle and I wonder what the hell she was thinking.

She wants to yell at me but is frustrated with words...she spits instead.