Today I started to learn a new programming language. This is all really the first step to getting my next job. I used to pick up new tools constantly, in fact I was so proud to have the latest sharpest ones...and be the best with them.
But you get tired of being on the front line. Tired of staying ahead of everyone else. Now that I am in Management there's very little call for it...at least here. I've gotten lazy.
So today starts the journey of 1000 miles.....
i've got at least 3 very important articles that are sitting in my head, but i cant get more than a paragraph done before i'm completely bored with it. maybe i'm broken
frozen chocolate
sweet creamy moistened goodness
spoons my stress away
I'm mildly amused to see The Corpse on my trolley this morning. Occasionally our schedules coincide on the ride home, but almost never on the way to work. I think he's a lawyer, and typically goes into the city earlier than me.
As always I take the first available seat on the left side of the trolley. The seats on the right face the back, and I'd rather look where I'm going. I sit down on a red and black vinyl bench seat and scoot to the window. I'm directly behind The Corpse and today he's having a hushed conversation with Sissy Spacek.
I call him 'The Corpse' because I wont have to go to his Viewing. In fact noone will, we already know what he will look like when he's laid out.
The Corspe's skin is this sickening translucent tallow color. Kind of waxy and shiny. His face is mostly expressionless, but I'm certain he wears a Sinister Grin when the office door is closed. Only his cloudy brown eyes dart about freely. My impression of him is that he is a man with a beneign, incompetant evil streak. The kind of guy who doesnt wash his hands after peeing...on purpose.
His sharp grey suit is covered by a cashmere overcoat and kakhi colored scarf. It's wrapped tightly around his neck to hide the bolts that secure his head.
Sissy Spacek is whispering to him so lowly that I cant even hear noise. Perhaps she is mouthing the words. The Corpse nods stiffly every 30 seconds or so. I wonder how old his is. Originally I thought he was in his late 40's but now that I am behind him, I see the now relaxed lines around his eyes and suspect BoTox. His hair is far to perfect to be real, I look for the weave seam. His face is COMPLETELY void of any beard shadow, like he's so old that all of the hair fell off his body.
I wonder what Sissy could be confiding in him. I wonder how they know each other. I have heard him brag to other guys how much easier it was for him to get women before his divorce. Is this his move? Perhaps he is planning on giving her phone number to telemarketers, or signing her up for unwanted magazine subscriptions. Does she know the evil patterns inscribed on his porcelan bones? The Danger?!?
Perhaps I should mind my own business and just go to work.....
i try not to blog about politicis too much. i get too emotional.
bush just said that we will be in iraq THROUGH 2008
we spend: $192 MILLION dollars a day on Iraq (all of it financed through foreign loans) X 1005 Days or so til bush wants them to leave gives us a grand total of $1.8 BRAZILLION DOLLARS.
He then went on to say how great the economy is...this guy is so freaking dumb, i cant believe the republicans sold our country out like this.....
i'm fucking freezing today.
cold and lonely.
this freaking office is driving me nuts and i wonder why i even come in when i could sit all by myself in my attic and at least have my dogs at my feet, and a cat in my lap.
my boss used the word 'blog' in conversation today and i hated him for it.
i should have run at lunch
Stubborn Ignorance has served me well
My adventure started started with a phonecall in the summer of 1991. I was 20 years old and very drunk at the time, yet I somehow still remember it. It was Ray on the phone. Ray was a softspoken sweetheart who transferred from Glassboro to Rutgers to get an education.
"Hey man, there's a guy up here who's going to ride his bicycle accross the country. He did it last year with and wants to do it again next summer. He's looking for people to go with him, I thought of you, do you want to do it with me"
It was one of those moments that you just kind of get lost in the dream. The dream that anything can be done by anybody, because we're Americans and that's what we do...whatever the hell we want. With abit of a slur I bought in......"Yes"
(a few weeks later Ray and I would be arrested together in perhaps the biggest farce of shoretown policework....plenty of 'yessir's' 'please' and 'thankyou's'. It's another story, but further solidified our friendship)
"I'm going to Bike accross the United States next summer"
Say it outloud. No really say it so someone can hear you. It's like saying "I'm going to be President" or "I'm going to swim across the Chesepeke" A small percentage of people will tell you why you cant do it, but for the most part everyone else will smile and dismiss you with a 'really? well good-luck'. My own parents later admitted to me that the only reason they didnt try to stop me was that they never believed I'd do it.
There were a million reasons why people didnt believe me. I'm an idealistic dreamer. I'm not athletic. I knew nothing about bicycling beyond a normal two-wheeled childhood on a Blue Ross Eurosport. Ironically, those were the same reasons this would work out......
US BIKETREK 1992 part 2
The great KatRocket has blogged the official Canadian response to my article on Americano/Canadia Relations.
She knows far too much about bacon (furthering my suspicions) and has the integrity to back up some of her claims with facts and statistics. Check it out!
Steakbellie is having lunch. Gerber Daisee passes the door on her way up the steps.
GD: "Are you eating a hotdog?!?!"
SB: "Yeah, Why?"
GD is heard upstairs exhaling loudly then: "You're fucking crazy...."
Here's a DEAD ON article on biking accross the United States. It's something that changed my life, and something I talked about alot for acouple of years after. I stopped talking about it ten years ago, mostly because of two things.
1. People who dont bike cant relate to it or understand the feat
2. People who bike dont believe me when I tell them I did it
So, pretty much everyone I've met in the last 10 years has no idea.
I've always fantasized that I would write a book about the trip to detail some of the stories, and maybe that will start here someday. I feal safe talking about it here I guess, and i think maybe that should start to come out....
The article brought back some funny memories, the wonderful people you meet along the way, the SHOCKINGLY beautiful country that exists outside of New Jersey, The intense lonilness and self-pity, the montrous joy of achievement
Thanks Sammy.....
i want to walk on by
just go, and then keep going
that Jack Kerouac kind of disapearing act
i think i'd even settle for sneaking out of work early
and playing video games against my sons
anywhere but here
why is it so strong today?
this started as a haiku, that I translated to several languages and then back to English using Google. I thought it was a pretty funny result
if controls arrive above, open to CEO, which is eager for the post office
En el cuadrado de Rittenhouse paso mis horas del almuerzo, en los dÃas que no estoy funcionando. Hoy es asoleado y muy ventoso, y hay una sensación que el tiempo está cambiando para el peor. Camino más allá de la estatua de bronce de la cabra, y admiro a niños que intentan unsuccessully subirla. Su scoot de Nannies detrás de ellos y del chastise ellos en español, una lengua que no entiendo. Cerca, absorben a sus madres ricas en sus bebidas costosas del café y cada otras conversación. Siento una paranoia suave hoy, pero pienso que es el trabajo de la depravación del cafeÃna... eso o realmente hay un riesgo de la violencia immenent.
As American we underestimate the Canadians.
To be blunt, the problem is the exchange rate. You can get like 1,000 Candian Ruples for a quarter, and while that might be fun, it wears off pretty quick when the shop keeper pretends to only speak French and bilks you out of all your Pink Money.
My latest theroy puts forth that Candians are actually a highly advanced society, that purposely manipulates the exchange rate so that we will overlook them and stay out of their freaking business. Here are some important facts about Canada for you to study:
* All Canadians know each other (did you ever notice that? I spent 30 years in New Jersey, and I dont know a goddamned soul over there, yet you can pull any two Candians out of a hat and they will talk about old times and get along famously)
* Canadians dont like to kill people. They dont bother saber rattling and going to strange parts of the world looking for someone to shoot. They also wont kill their own kind, I dont think they even have murder in Canada, I mean dont these people own any guns?!?!
* They drink beer with more alcohol in it. How come we didnt think of that? Highly Advanced.
* They invented Pam Anderson
I have this other theroy, that the Canadians are only nice to us because they want our recipe for Bacon. Everybody knows Candian Bacon is just a round slice of ham....dunno
when it comes to trivial meaningless bullshit,
i am a force to be reckoned with....
once this my mind is in motion
it will tend to stay in motion
until my wife yells at me
dont read anything into this but:
Since the Nathans Hotdog Contest started in 1916, only 31 people have been able to eat more than 20 hotdogs in the 12 minute period.
That's over NINETY YEARS!!!!!
the Sopranos comes back this Sunday
it's got to be the best thing I've ever watched
look forward to sleepy Mondays, dropping the F-Bomb
all of my goals that i list here in my heart,
involve physical pain and discomfort
but it still doesnt seem wrong to me
in the end, it's about what we're willing to endure. We all have hammers, and it's just a matter of where you decide to hit yourself with it.
you can yell and scream all you like
but i can tell your deaf ears right now
none of this really matters to anyone but you
as fucked as i am
i have my priorities straight(er)
and you'll never convince me
My Dad is home and safe. His titanium hip is back in, and he has to take it easy for 6 weeks. He doesnt have much pain now.
Couple more details from the incident:
My Dad was pinned for 3 Hours before the Rangers were able to get him free. He described it as the most pain he's ever been in, and kept hoping to pass out.
If you are medivac'ed by the State Police, and it's a true emergency, it's free!
The prop-wash from the rescue copter was so powerful it knocked my mom over!
When you are basket-rescued off the top of a mountain, it's VERY cold....sooo cold your tears FREEZE to your face as fast as you can cry them!
He hung outside of the helicopter the entire ride!
In the XRAY, The hip bone was FOUR INCHES away from the Socket!
In the end, my family was really fortunate. Shock kills more people than injuries do, and there's nothing like tremdous pain to bring on shock.
This story would have ended very differently had my Dad not been so prepared. He has excellent cold weather gear that he wears, and had four chemical heat packs the Rangers put under his armpits to keep him from getting Hypothermia.
I think my mom might have taken some photos on her camera phone...I'm gonna try to get them!
Yesterday was a Tuesday
Around 2:30pm, I was thinking about phone systems and fax rollovers. Not exciting stuff but it was what I was being paid for. Did you ever think what your loved ones were doing at any moment in time?
My sons were finishing school for the day and thinking about video games, girls and horsing around
My wife was also finishing school and thinking about my boys
My brother was sitting at his computer, thinking about Highway Intersections, and my sister? God Knows what the hell goes on in there.....
My Dad however was about 3,000 feet up, wedged in a crevice between two frozen boulders, at the summit of a mountain in Upstate New York. One of his legs was twisted around backwards, he was going into shock and screaming.
It would be hours later before my old man was finally wrenched free by the effort of 7 Rangers and placed in one of those cool baskets that dangle under enourmous rescue helicopters. I've always wanted to do that, but under different circumstances of course.
My poor Mom had to snowshoe down the Mountain in the dark before meeting up with him at the hospital. These people are in their sixties, and sometimes I wonder what they did with the poor schlubs who raised me.
Going into the OR late last night I spoke to my Dad by cellphone. He was heavily drugged and only managed "I got to do some interesting things today" before passing out. My Dad's hip was replaced a year and a half ago, and when he fell it dislodged, and twisted full around without breaking any bones. They were able to get it back in place without cutting him open thank goodness.
After the procedure, the Surgeon told him he cant fly for six weeks because of risk of bloodclots from this injury. You'd think that he'd want to take it easy anyway, but Dad started an argument because they have plane tickets to Portugal in a few weeks.
I still cant get this Phone System working....
How much does it suck that Dana Reeve died of lung cancer at 44. Here's a woman that stuck by her man after he was paralyzed and did all the hard work of caring for him 24 hours as well as the kids. We'd all love to be that strong...that giving.
Even after he died she still carried the torch for stem-cell research and for spinal cord injury treatments.
Just the heartbreak of going through his death after a decade, you'd think she'd win some kind of god-prize and live a somewhat peaceful life and get to enjoy her children and grandchildren. How about a few years of happiness, and just hanging out with a can of Tab and a bar of 'Special Dark' on the front porch?
So she dies of Lung Cancer and wasnt even a smoker. Retarted. Even I can write a better ending than that. Those kids gotta feel freaking under siege.....
Frankie: "I'm giving up cigarettes for Lent"
James: "But you dont Smoke?!"
Frankie: "I'm not Catholic either......but the little man in my head is."
I read a quote in a Stephen King book a few months back that has stuck with me. It's something like:
"Wish into one hand
Shit into the other
See which one fills up first"
Why does that make me smile? I'm still waiting for the right opportunity to use it...
Boss: "Are you ok?"
Employee: (some hesitation) "I broke my ass"
Boss: (alittle surprised) "You broke your ass?"
Employee: (winces, turns to Boss) "I broke my ass. I could lie to you and say that I hurt my leg or my back, but I'm not going to do that. The truth is that I got very drunk, fell down and broke my ass.
Boss: (Silent, then)"You're a pretty direct person, huh?"
