the asshole who was never satisfied
i woke up this morning
and some of the satisfaction had begun to dim
couldnt i have eaten two more?
probably not, but maybe
i feel like i left everything on the table out there, and pushed myself so deeply past my instincts that wanted me to stop. i feel like i prepared myself with great respect to the event....but could i have prepared more?
probably
would it have lead to a divorce?
maybe
so i woke up this morning looking forward to the next event...like suddenly there is no doubt i want to do it again. the fantasy is forming. if i prepared for a full year...i could place...i could win....i could set the new world record.....
this is the kind of drive i once had in my career. i wanted to be the best and i fully reached my potential at age 28. i worked in the best company, with the best co-workers on the best projects for the best clients.
that was seven years ago and now i'm in management. i have very little passion for work anymore. i do my job, because it pays well....thats it.
so now i'm passionate about a chicken wing eating contest. read that line again, i'm shaking my head. and it's burning in me that i'll have to wait a full year to get another chance to prove myself.
i'm still completely exhausted and sore, but goddamn it if i havent already put together my new training schedule in my head. i'm thinking about other events i could enter. i'm even looking into joining the International Federation of Competitive Eaters (swear to god, they actually have one) it wasnt like it was easy training for this thing....it makes you physically ill....ughhh....
why couldnt i just take up painting again?
why do i do this to myself?
10 comments:
Without ultimate purpose, life becomes a string of experiences, each one competing to outdo the last.
wow
must be some truth to that
cause it stings!
You are not an asshole. I know why you say it. But I don't like it.
You are a driven, passionate, dedicated, caring, loving, funny father, husband, friend and citizen. This Wing Bowl confirmed that for all of us who know you personally and those who feel they know you..
"You cannot perform in a manner inconsistent
with the way you see yourself." -Zig Ziglar
If you call yourself "asshole", you are one.
You doing this competition made you realize that a purpose driven life has meaning. It validates who you are. You are vital, you matter. You truly ARE capable of anything you set your mind to (Thanks Mom + Dad!).
I lost 45 pounds last year. 30 after August. You ate 105 wings and finished 6th in the US in your first competition. With focus, drive, and a goal/purpose, we can do ANYTHING.
"What one man can do, another can do."
"The Edge" (movie, not guitarist)
SRF
thats such a sweet thing you wrote and it means alot because you know me in person and not just from my skewed blog.
thankyou
i guess i feel like an asshole, because i did better than i could ever hope to do, and now i'm asking for more...like i'm ungrateful or something....do you know what i mean?
By the way, I wrote that anonymous response...I just forgot to sign in. But now I am starting to reconsider what I said.
"Wahhhhh! I could have done better!"
"Waaahhhh! Look at me, I'm living without purpose!
"Waaah! I wack-off 8 times a day! (is there an international federation for that?)
Actually, I am a broad, a dingy broad who likes to empathize... except with crybabies like steakbellie.
By the way, that 30 pounds I said I lost since August actually happened during one very long stay on the bowl...it seems I was a bit backed up from March and didn't take notice.
What is interesting (as if a 30 pound poop isn't enough) is that it all came out chronologically. First was a shamrock shake and a Cook O'Puss from Carvel. Then came marshmellow peeps and a Bunny Puss ice cream cake from Easter. Next, I released a Graduate Puss and some popcorn I ate while watching the Girls Gone Wild infomercial at 3:00am on May 23rd. I used to eat cheetos during the show but invariably ended up with orange underwear.
Pulled pork came out with a splash, bringing back fond memories of Memorial Day. I pushed out hot dogs and niblets of corn during the next contraction, and finished up with salt water taffy and a standard Cookie Puss.
All in all it was quite a journey. Follow your dreams Stekbellie and they will come true. I know mine did that magical August night!!!!
first of all I'm already in THAT Federation.....
second....I'm dying laughing over here!!!!!!!you're a sensitive guy, Artie!
"The Asshole Who Was Never Satisfied!"
Sounds like where porn meets horror.
now I feel violated!!!!!!!!!
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