Horseshit.

I'm sick.

I dont remember the last time I was sick, must have been a year ago. Not flu sick, but bad-cold sick, the kind you still go to work with.

Yesterday my wife sent me to bed when I got home and she was kind enough to get the boys to wrestling practice despite her very long day. I lay in bed in the quiet house reading the latest issue of People magazine in my underwear. My dog Larry watched me the whole time.

Did you know that George Clooney is the sexist man alive? It says so on the cover...in fact the whole issue is dedicated to the sexist men out there. George says that Brad is going to be upset because now they are tied for being the Sexiest Man Twice. It also says he'll never get married and that he has a Pot Bellied pig for a pet.

The magazine has found the other 199 sexy people too.

I paged.....
and paged...
and paged...

no pictures of Steakbellie!!!

what the fuck is that? Not only was I overlooked over AGAIN this year, NOBODY I know was even mentioned, let alone pictured. 90% of the "Winners" were actors and the rest were Musicians. No plumbers. No IT people. No Graphic Designers. No Competitve Eaters.

Do you know any professional Actors?
I Dont, but I Act everyday. You should see me at work!

I lay in bed, with a pillow folded in half under my head. What Dispair! Matt Damon doesnt even have his own Blog! I pulled the sheets over my head so Larry didnt have to watch me cry. I cried and cried until I knew I had to do something about this.

I've decided I'm going to win next year. I'm going to be People's Sexiest Man of 2007 with a huge photo of my face on the cover. They will have photos of me trying to find two identical socks in the morning. Photos of me picking up dog crap in my back yard. Intimate pictures of me staring blankly at the screen waiting to see if I die before the 5 oclock whistle.

You can stop smiling because I'm serious. I'm a winner.
a-choo.