Incognito Eating a Burrito (or three)

Incognito Eating a Burrito (or three)
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

I had my first win last night.

I was concerned going into it. It was a 3-burrito contest, and I am used to timed events such as "all you can eat for 8 minutes". Each burrito weighs about 1lbs, but they were extremely easy to chew and swallow. My worry was that it wasnt enough food for anyone in the pack to hit the wall. A 4-burrito contest would garentee that some natural good eater couldnt walk in off the street and beat me.

The contest is being held by a national chain, and is a series of contests over a month or two, the winners move on to the next level. Until the finals in Atlanta in September.

Leaving for the event my kids were upset that I didnt have my kilt on. The 7 year old was particularly upset, because it's my uniform, my costume, my persona. In most pro contests, I would be considered the underdog, I think it's ok to dress up for those events. This contest is closed to "Ranked Eaters" and will be mostly first time Amatuers and less experienced eaters like myself. I didnt want to be the asshole at the table, so I figured I'd eat Incognito for the first few rounds of this contest.

Half of the restaraunt was setup with a long table with names already taped infront of each seat. My father was in the area for work and I convinced him to come watch. GD and the boys got a table right in front of my nameplate.

I eyed the eaters as they came in and signed their legal waivers. Most were in there 20's and in good shape. The eaters were whispering about a huge 300lbs lineman looking guy, but he didnt worry me, the two skinny kids did. Nobody gave me a second look which is completely fine with me.

We are all given XL t-shirts to wear during the contest and the big guy wont fit into his so he continues to wear his "Survived Anorexia" T-shirt. I picked my favorite 'HotDog Johnnys' shirt to wear to the competition.

The weather was 100 degrees all day, and minutes before the contest a wicked stormfront came through, knocking trees down all over town and sending rain sideways under the front door of the store. The power got knocked out and the emergency lights came on. The manager locked the front door and officially closed the restaurant but said 'The Contest Will Continue'

So with emergency spotlights aimed at me and my family yelling I ripped into my first burrito. Once again it's a different food, and surprisingly different when consuming at high speed. Burritos are far less technical and require very little strategy...(god what a funny sentence THAT is) There were aluminum wrappers discarded all over the long table and I had a hard time telling where my competitor were...the boys kept yelling though, so I kept eating.

I have a very poor concept of time during competiton, but it was VERY fast, and my wife had to get the judges attention when I was on my last few bites of my third...the judge was watching the big guy finnish his first burrito and really didnt expect anyone to be done.

Everyone stopped eating for a second and looked at me midchew in disbelief, it was the feeling that I've been waiting for, and god am I savoring it.

Second place went to one of the skinny kids I was concerned about, he finnished four minutes after me. It was well over ten minutes before the whole table was done.

So the problem is that I have to face the winner of the contest carried out earlier in the day. It will be a 4-burrito contest and the winner of that will be the store champion. A week later will be a 10 store contest, follwed by regionals and then Nationals.

The winner of the other contest? My good friend Wing Kong.....