Dr Stinky Tests My Limits

I have a high tolerance for discomfort, especially when it's based on the senses. I can listen to annoying repetitive noises. I can eat ultra hot spicy foods. I can endure the smells from my sons' bathroom. I can stare at ugly people.

This morning my limits were tested by a medical student in his late 20's.

Two stops before I get on the trolley is an Apartment Complex that is mostly filled with Medical Doctors and their families doing their Residencies. They like the area for it's good schools and rail access to Philadelphia Hospitals.

I sat next to a nicely dressed man who was studying what appeared to be Calculus. His pages were covered with Mathematical Symbols and his lips were moving slightly like he was memorizing for a test.

I had been standing on the platform in 15 degree weather and was happy to be indoors.

Within moments of thawing, my eyes began to tear. I breathed deeply, and coughed. Something stunk, and bad. It was a combination of armpit and onion. The biggest, most acidic, most spoiled gooddamned onion on this planet.

I turned my head slowly to determine the smells origin, and confirmed it was the studious son of a bitch next to me. Everytime he moved to turn a page a new wave of olfactory terrorism struck me.

Most people would leave or vomit. Some would do both. I was intrigued how this man was immune to odor and wondered if he had some sort of mutant gene that produced such a smell.

Once while bicycling accross country, we came accross another biker who would join our group for a few days. He had picked up a Parasite in South America that caused him to have the most unearthly farts. I was the only person capable of sharing a tent with him. Nice guy though.

I tried again and again to listen to my ipod, but the smell was almost chemical, and began to burn my throat. My eyes darted to the exit doors. I wondered how his papers did not burst into flame.

This Doctor breaks the first part of the Hippocratic Oath just by standing next to a patient. He's going to kill more people than he cures.

Please someone help me...help me....

My throat is still burning!