There are three kinds of people

1. Those inside my head
B. Those not inside my head

It's a Fashion Coup

The Fashionistas are planning their coup
Knee High Leather boots all summer
White after Labor Day
Tweed to take out the garbage

Winters will wear summer colors
Somebody is in Lime
Someone else is fat, and has farted
Twice

Off-Black is the new Black
So are whites washed with something red
40 is the new 30
20 is stil 20 though

They'll take these streets by storm
Mixing Ralph Lauren with Jaquline Smith
Prada with non-Prada
I still have nothing to wear

They carry huge eyelash brushes caked with black gook
swabbing passersby with 5lbs of sticky beauty
The MaryKay Ladies will have their pink Caddys keyed
and then touched up with nail gloss by Jessica Simspon, (we dont want rust)

Hear the drums
Smell the Fragrance
Have a Latte
It's a Fashion Coup

?

1,2,3,4
1,2
1,2
1,2,3,4
1,2
1,2

Black Thirteen

Black Thirteen
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

drinking and blogging

so anyway, I was supposed to lift tonght but the new people moved in and we had a big ass imprompto party in their drivewway (spellings an issue) and this one neighbor started blabbing her mouth about her dumb ass college roommmate. Well her roomaate was a virgin and was obsessed with sex. She'd ask every night what it was like and grill all the girls. To make up for it she blew every guy she met....right, i know.....and there are two important things to remember here.

1. She blew alot of guys
B. My neighbor had to take her to the hospital because she got CRABS in her eyelashes and was trying to scratch her eyes out
4. She is now a Neuro Surgeon

I told her she should have been an oral surgeon.

The Deceiver

Somebody at work was shocked when they found out I like to garden
I asked why that was
they said it was because that I came accross as such a Conservative person.

I gave her a big smile

have whats her name wake me up when all of this is over

its gonna be another late night and no sleep

Karl Marx action figure

Karl Marx action figure
Originally uploaded by riddle.

F'ing beau. Look at his big swinging dong....that big dick with the cyber gun thing just makes me laugh....look at the brilliant idea, and made for no other reason than to do it....nobodies paying him to scupt these things, he doesnt have to please anyone or pass their standads....If if didnt work on it, he wouldnt miss the deadline.....I'm jealous in a naked fucking Karl Marx kinda way.

4:45 Blues

hitting send/receive
starving for some e-mana
fillers for my time

dont panic

dont_panic
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

I made this graphic for a blog entry I was going to write about how funny something or another was or something. But I really dont think anyone cares all that much so I'm gonna save it and just yell it to the people who are locked in my subway car with me. At least they'll tell me to shut up.

Talking to the Crazies

One of the advantages to Public Transportation is that you get exposed. People of every walk are jammed into a timecapsule that only opens every few minutes. During that time if there are any crazies onboard they will make themselves known as soon as the doors shut.

I love crazies. Most of them are harmless, and just have a need to speak. I say the crazy things I think on this blog, they speak them on the train. We all need an anonymous ear to hear us.

Yesterday, there was a guy talking in a preacher-like voice giving a sermon to the window. "When I say jump, you better say 'how high' on the way up!" You get some black power rants, some jesus rants, but mostly people cursing out some ghost in their past.

Typically, I follow the Prime Directive and just observe, not interact or disrupt. I'm usually smiling to myself, watching the crazy in one of the many reflectivve surfaces.

So on the Trolley this morning I sit next to a talker. Not necessarily a crazy, just someone who will strike up a conversation with you despite the fact you are reading AND have headphones on.

Now I have a friend who is a social genius. He could have a meaningful conversation with anyone. He stores an infinite amount of factoids about every occupation, every town, every social movement, historical event, sport, or hobby in his head. Within the first few sentences he's made a connection with a stranger, by mentioning something that is personal to them. They mention they are from Lincoln Nebraska, and he says "I hear the HotDogs from Woodys are the best anywhere" Bingo, he's mentioned a restaurant they used to go to as a kid, and opened up a big door. I've seen it happen a million times, and he always finds a way to make that connection, it's fascinating.

So today the talker is asking me about the lottery numbers and we have a small chitchat abouth that (I've decided to try to play this like my friend would) and then the guy blurts out that yesterday he went to LinVilla, So I've been to LinVilla Orchards, and I say "I love that place, they have the best Carmel Apples", he looks at me kind of funny says 'yeah' and doesnt say another word the rest of the ride.

That got me thinking about my friend. One time we spent about 6 hours watching the Penn Relays. We had great seats, but we were in the sun most of the day and got alittle sunburned. Afterwards we went to a bar that was nearby for one or nine beers.

We sit at the bar, a have acouple and are talking and goofing around. An old black guy leans into the bar to get a beer through the crowd. My buddy helps him get the bartenders attention. To be funny he starts talking in a 'Smokers Voice' all low and gravely, the kind of voice you dont want to say more than a couple of sentences in. He's using it exuberantley with big arm motions. This is all for my benefit, and it's pretty funny.....

My buddy starts up a conversation with this guy, not meaning to make a connection, just continuing it because he knows I'm laughing. Without even realizing it, my friend hooks the guy in, and he pulls up a chair.

I kick my buddy under the chair, I'm trying not to crack up, we both know he cant give up the voice now. He's committed.

We spend the next 4 hours talking to this guy and buying him beers. He's fascinating...he ran in the Penn Relays in High School, he fought in Vietnam and got screwed up in the head, he's been homeless, a junkie, and he's got HIV.

The entire time my buddy keeps the voice going. He's drinking more than normal because his throats on fire. It's cracking, but we're still here. We leave the bar. We take the old guy with us. He's from DC, so we take him to a great cheesesteak place and buy him a real Philly Cheesesteak.

Then we walk the old guy to the bus station and wait with him for his bus to arrive. My buddy is still talking in the voice. He's committed.

We put the old guy on his bus and laugh our asses off. Although I cant hear his laugh, he's lost his voice.

So I think about this memory on the train and actually laugh outloud....sitting alone, laughing...now I'm the crazy....

The Quirks keep on coming....

I've listed a fair amount of quirks here, and I've just realized another.

Before I walk into a store, I look down to make sure that I'm wearing pants...and not like I'm worried I might have shorts on, more like somehow I got all the way here in only my underwear, and didnt notice. I guess it's based on that dream we've all had? dunno.....crazy steakbellie crazy.....

The Boy who saved my life

Pounding a double
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

This guy saved my life, and in a very real way. He did it as a baby, and just by showing up. I was a complete mess with no real plan of where to go or what to do...POW! Get your shit together Dad, because now everything counts, no more 'do-overs'.

So he's turned into a wonderful boy...just turned eleven, and he did a really cool thing a month ago that got me thinking about how crazy it is how kids turn out. I have three sons with my wife, and they are all so very different. I bet we could have 20 sons and none of them would be alike. Whats funny is who gets what from which parent...but let me get back to the point and save the kid comparisons for another Blog.

The Cool Thing: Those of you with pre-teens or older will see the coolness of this. My son read voraciously. He's usually reading 2 or three books at the same time. He gets them out of the school library, and is always on the lookout for a new series. So around Christmas Time I suggested that he should read a book called "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". It's an incredibly silly book that I read in grade school and have reread it a few time in my life.

So here's the thing, I mentioned it once, and said, you might like this. I didnt push or bring it up again. Months later he remembers it and gets ahold of a copy and starts to read it. On my recommendation!

He loves it and is reading the second book of the five part trilogy (dont ask). By cooincidence they annouced that a movie version is being released soon, and me and him have a date set up.

So bring home Monty Pythons 'Holy Grail' on DVD and we sit like total goofballs giggling all night at the movie.

They get big so fast, I feel so fortunate to make a connection like this. No arguments or fights, or tests of wills, just two goofballs enjoying our time together

dear maynard

is it possible do you think
for environmental conditions to be right
to push you back into sanity?
if events can make you crazy,
can they also undue the damage?
even temporarily?

Maybe it would just be the situation
inspiring you to burn the reserves
to spend the energy
to see things as they really are,
for a moment or for a day

like the old woman
who's body has died
shut down
but chooses to live until morning
because thats when her son's flight comes in

surely if she can hold the gates of death aloft for twelve hours
I can hold back this curtain

Friday Night

People look very different holding guns
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

"Standing here like a loaded gun
waiting to go off
I've got nothing to do but
Shoot my mouth off"

Internet Hunting

guns
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

"....Hagberg, as the Los Angeles Times noted, worked a computer mouse with his mouth and tongue on Saturday, April 9, to shoot at an antelope on a game reserve near Boeme, Texas, while lying in bed in Ligonier, a town in northeastern Indiana...."

Couldnt we just set up a bunch of these internet controlled guns in IRAQ and then just hire a bunch of Quadrapalegics to shoot Iraqis? Then we could bring our soldiers home, the Iraqi's would still get shot and we'd be employing hundreds severly handicapped people!

It's a complete Win/Win!!!!

"You cant polish a turd"

I have a friend that used to say this to me all the time. I would come into work with a hopefull story about somebody who was turning their shit around or doing something great and he'd wait for me to finish and hit me with that big wet fish of a comment. In the end he was usually right, said person would fall on their face or return to mediocrity.

I have a side business I've been running for 2 years with a guy. He's fun to hang out with and a family man, but he's a financial wreck. I agreed to set-up and maintain the web portion of the business for free in exchange for half ownership. He would handle corporate sales, bookeeping, paying bills and phone calls. We also used his contacts to get a competitive advantage on product. It was alot of work but I was willing to take it on. Because of my skillset the business got rolling on about $400 total!

2004, it paid for itself, but no more.
2005 is coming around and through DAILY work on my part is starting to make money. REAL money is a year away, but it's building consistantly. I can chart and see the progress...it's real, I've increased revenue, and cut expenses.

My partner lives in California, and is out of throttling range. He's a classic sales guy and can talk to anybody. He knows how to use catch phrases for any industry, and how to be your buddy. I figured out he's a bullshitter early on, but I have a soft spot for people who are struggling. Arent we all struggling? He's a family guy and I figured my efforts can help both of us. I'm not greedy, I want all of us to win.

He's a classic dreamer too. Lots of ideas, and he oversimplifies them, and is sure that this will be the one, this will be like "Printing Money" Well, I know how to print money, and it's easier to just earn it.

I find out yesterday that he's been taking money out the last 2 months to pay for "expenses". It's just acouple of hundred dollars, but in the end it's the principle of the whole thing. His job isnt going well and he's in financial straits. I know he's using the money to cover costs with his family. Morality is the first thing to go when you're hungry, and I'd do whatever I had to do to feed my family. I'm just pissed off, because it's like dealing with an addict.

We purposely havent taken a penny out of the business so that it had a chance to grow. This is really upsetting because it had a chance, and now I want to scrap the whole thing and possibly relaunch it myself. It would take me another year to get it where it is today, but I know everything would be done correctly. It's really difficult to put energy into it now.

I need another can of polish, I cant seem to get this turd to shine.....

Japan sorry for WWII

That is one of the links on the MSN homepage today, along with "Aniston-Cox email snafu". I thought it looked pretty funny how 50 years after one of the worst wars ever, MSN summarizes it in four words, and doesnt even give it a 20x20 pixel icon like it did for the Jennifer Aniston story. HA!!!

My Favorite Bible Verse

5 year old attacking 8 year old
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

I once was a very religeous person, I had a very earnest search for answers, at an unlikely time of life. It is an experience that has flavored who I am and who I will be. There's one Bible passage that has stuck with me. It's Ephesians 6:12
"For we do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness"

I like the choice of the word "wrestle". Wrestling involves using your arms, legs, even your face to out leverage an opponent. During the match it may not always be clear who is winning, being on top doesnt gaurentee anything, at any point you may loose your balance and be thrown. It's alot like life. You can prepare and be skillfull, but at anypoint be thrown down.

And lets look at who we're fighting. It's rarely "flesh and blood" of a single person, but against groups, against ideals, against trends. We fight against low sales, and poor school district performance. We fight against faceless enemies "Polluters" and the IRS.

We all have a different idea who these powers are, but apparently in the last 2,000 years since this book was written, we're still wrestling.

"Pretty girls make graves"

Hot girl has Masters
No Integrity to match
and now she's fired

Backroom Papacy

Heritics are caught
Lets play Good Pope, Bad Pope
Get them to confess

The Test

And Begin.....
I've received the test that will decide the future of my time here at this company. The CEO handed me a 550 document that we sent out as an answer to an rfp. We didnt get the job and it was worth 2 million dollars. The client stated that the biggest reason was their lack of confiedence in our IT department.

I didnt write the rfp but I'm going to rewrite it, the way I see it should be done. The biggest problem is that it's written in French. Not really but almost. It's so technical that I recognize letters and can figure out the meaning of some of the words, but I dont know exactly what it says.

It's alittle scary because I dont totally understand what it says....but I'm excited because I see the biggest problem is presentation....something I'm very very good at. Simple things, use the same fonts throughout, same point size, and leading. MAke all of you headers the same. throw in some bullet points, always start with a summary. spellcheck the freaking thing.

If I can turn this document around so that we can learn from it and use it as a basis for future docs, then I'm golden. If not, I'll need to start looking....

Vatican Hijinks

Alter Boy puts red smoke bomb in Sistine Chapel Chimney.

deuterium

drinking at the chelsea pub, atlantic city
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

living my half-life

sparks from my posioned core
splitting off ideas
radiating heat
and alittle light

cool my blood
with great floods
of this heavy water

shirt

shirt
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

my new favorite shirt
I dont really like sweets, but sometimes I crave chocolate like it was sex.