I'm from Jersey

I have this theory that I developed back in college. I was riding a bicycle accross the United States (no, really), and in almost every state, in very unexpected circumstances, I'd meet someone from New Jersey.

Now when you're bicylcing accross the country you dont spend alot of time shaking hands with people asking them, 'where you from?' You spend most of your time outside, alone, wet, cold, burnt, famished, and very very tired. None of which put you in the mood to meet people, which is fine because you tend not to smell very popular.

I adore people but fear and dislike meeting new ones, so the fact that I met anyone at all is notable...but there they were, leasing cabins in Idaho, taking photos in South Dakota, Serving Burgers in Montana. These Expats genuinley thrilled to meet us, and gushed with the chance to talk to someone who knows about Toms River where they grew up. People who have walked the same boardwalk. Gone to the same schools. All of them love the State. None of them ever want to go back.

So my theory is that people from New Jersey are repopulating the world.

Lets guess why:
* They are in the witness protection program
* They were asked to leave
* People from New Jersey are huge backers of Panspermia theory
* New Jersey is nicer to be 'from' than 'at'

I've met New Jersians in Hawaii, Australia, and England. These people get around!

I love the state, and hope I'll never live there again. Some traits of New Jersians:
We are angry agressive drivers
We talk louder than the rest of you
We are better looking than than you
We are modest (in a loud, agressive in your face kinda way)
We have excellent tomatos (this is true) - not that bullshit that they sell in the winter that is grown in some hydroponic chamber in California. We're talking juicy f'ing tomatos of a sweetness and texture you break somebodys fingers for. Apparently our fertile soil combined with hot summers and acid rain are exactly what they need. Our corn is pretty good too. I grow some awesome Eggplant, but I wont share my success with the rest of the State....

Unbeknownst to all of you there is also a major identity schizm (thats right, a schizm) between North and South Jersey. When people talk about New Jersey, they are refering to North Jersey. Nobody talks about South Jersey. It's actually a complex issue that will require an entire blog entry to explain! I spent 2 decades in the North, and 1 in the South, so who better than me to disect the situation, and make fun of the south?

So here's the final thought. I have roughly 65.5 years till my scheduled death (another blog entry) I plan on living outside of New Jersey till then....however I think I will always say "New Jersey" when people ask where I'm from....and proudly!!!