Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Do you ever wonder about that little bit of dirt at the bottom of a stalk of Celery? I do. I’m not worried about the food being dirty, I more curious how much top-soil is lost in a field each year to Celery Leeching.

So I’m in the little office lunch room running my Celery under the sink, rubbing the dirt off and trying to devise a way to re-capture all of the earth residue back at the packaging plant or field-side.

There are other people milling about this lunch-room but I have my headphones on so that they wont talk to me. The headphones are not even connected to anything. Sometimes I’ll even talk really loudly to really sell it so that everyone thinks I’m listening to music. It’s an illness.

Somebody’s fucking with the microwave.

Somebody’s getting water.

The new woman walks into the lunchroom and apologetically makes her way to the coffee machine. “I cant seem to get enough coffee today” she breaks to nobody as the coffee flows.

“You’re not trying hard enough” I deadpan from my celery without looking up.

She laughs awkwardly and there’s a weird moment because I don’t laugh or aknowledge her. She leaves.

The guy at the Microwave cracks up.

I’m such a dick sometimes.


Chris said...

Yes, but are you a Nixon or a Cheney? The difference is subtle, but oh so important when Dickishness is concerned...

I admire the way you capture everyday scenes so well.

I've never obsessed over celery dirt (mostly 'cause I expect the bartender to rinse the celery off before it hits my drink), but I will tell complete strangers to pull their water bottles out of the garbage and pour the leftover water out onto the ground. I hate the thought of locking water out of the water cycle by trapping it in a plastic bottle in a landfill for the next 10,000 years.

Should oughta be recycling that bottle anyway, dammit.

katrocket said...

Ha ha! But beware 20 minutes later, when the Caffeine Rage kicks in.

Wendy said...

I love these sweet little slice of life posts :)