:)
Where to paddle
9 months ago
Monday, August 06, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
For Now and Eventually for Eternity
I'm going on Vacation.
YAY for me.
This will be my 37th Consecutive Summer visiting this lake in Upstate NY. My wife has gone for 15 years. My Dad has gone for about 40 years. My Mom wins the prize for going for 60+ Years!
Eventually my sons will get to dump my ashes in the middle of this Lake, and then I wont have to endure the 6 hour car ride each way. I'm hoping that they will launch me out of a Potato Cannon if it can be arrainged. They are creative and will think of something cool by then. So it goes.
Camp always marks the begining of the Year for me. Happy New Year Everyone! Thanks for the kind words and thoughts....
YAY for me.
This will be my 37th Consecutive Summer visiting this lake in Upstate NY. My wife has gone for 15 years. My Dad has gone for about 40 years. My Mom wins the prize for going for 60+ Years!
Eventually my sons will get to dump my ashes in the middle of this Lake, and then I wont have to endure the 6 hour car ride each way. I'm hoping that they will launch me out of a Potato Cannon if it can be arrainged. They are creative and will think of something cool by then. So it goes.
Camp always marks the begining of the Year for me. Happy New Year Everyone! Thanks for the kind words and thoughts....
and beyond
Seems some of these Astronauts get loaded before a launch.
They are highly trained in what happens during a launch, and with that much power shooting through their assholes....I think it's probably humane to allow them to get loaded first.
It's not like they have to even do anything but breathe and pretend they didnt shit themselves for the first few hours anyway. Come on people...here's to the Crew!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Table 3 - Hilton Hotel - Islen, New Jersey 2007 (American Sonnet)
you know in New Jersey
the bride and the groom
are still introduced
to Bon Jovi's 'Livin on a Prayer'
they are so young
and so in love
you cant help but
stand on your chair and yell
if we could dance to
'Thunder Road'
we would
take my hand
we'll make it
I swear
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Steve Caratzas Interviews Steakbellie
Steve Caratzas, perpetual perfector of the eight word poem, has wasted his time sending me 5 Interview Questions. Here are my answers
1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
The very first thing I ever wanted to be was a Garbage Man. A little girl who lived next to my Great Uncle was going to work with me and we'd get to hold onto the back of that truck as it drove up and down the streets of the neighborhood. I still think it would be an awesome job. I was probably 4 or 5.
Later on I wanted to become a Astronaut or Astronomer...
2. Andy Warhol: genius or charlatan?
I dont know if I can answer that directly. He contributed alot to Pop-Art and got some people to talk about Commercial Design being represented as actual art. I take it as an extention to DuChamp's "Ready-mades". Anytime you can put art or a concept into the hands of the everyday person it's progress.
I know alot less about his social life and outside of imagery projects. I think he screwed with alot of people though, and just wanted to see how far he could go and still be taken seriously. I think thats pretty funny. I'm more likely to put him in the genius category just for screwing with everybody.
3. Action movie preference (you must choose one): Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal or Chuck Norris.
It's offensive that you have to ask that question. Chuck Norris, duh.
4. Please create your snuff film star moniker by
taking the first name of the first person you hated
and add it to the last name of the last person you
borrowed money from.
Steven Steakbellie'sMom
5. Worse instrument to be used in a rock setting:
flute or xylophone?
I think potentially it's the flute. You really cant get much volume out of it and it's all whispy and awkward looking. I played trumpet, I like something you can get all brash and creshendo on.
Put Neil Pert on an Xylophone and I think you can rock the house.
Monday, July 23, 2007
No cancer found in Bush's colon
That was an actual AP headline today. I imagine it was good news for some, it was humor for me.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Found Her Mate!
Some people notice cars.
Some watch birds.
I pay attention to bikes.
When a car flys by on the Highway, I'll speed up to see what bikes are on the roof rack. I check out the frames on bike trails. Bike Races.
I dont know if it's still the practice, but TREK would release it's bicycles in a color that was specific to the year and the configuration. I've seen 20 Trek 1000's of the same vintage and a dozen 1200's. I've seen 2 1420's, but in 15 years I've never seen another 1991 Trek 1400, in fact it's a pretty rare bike in any year. (the newer 1400's are Carbon and I dont consider them in the same lineage as these Aluminum frames.)
So yesterday, I am CRANKING my ass out of Philadelphia and into the headwinds of a coming storm. I see a bike that looks a hell of alot like mine 8 or 9 cars up. I catch the guy by the next light, and wow! It's the same freaking bike!
How does something so stupid make my whole week??????
UPDATED FOR BERT BANANAS
As my wife will testify from many years of agrivated observance, I dont talk to or meet new people very well, in fact it scares the shit out of me. The fact that I was so moved as to say anything to this guy was it's own miracle that will soon be recognized with a Federal Holiday.
Because I start out in Center City, the first twenty minutes of my ride home are the most hectic as there is no time to warm up. I have to sprint as soon as the first light turns green. At 5:30 the road is radiating all of the heat it collected that day with the mixing car/bus exhausts it just feels like there is no oxygen to be had. Being a fatass doesnt help either.
Like a Neanderthal marveling at the caves of Lascoux, I point a wet arm at his bike frame.
"SWEET" I say.
He's about my age but instead of biking clothes he is in just shorts and a t-shirt. He looks at my frame and is visibly shocked (and out of breathe as well).
"WHOA!"
"1991?"
"YEAH"
The light turned green and I went as fast as possible to stay ahead of the SEPTA bus that was trying to kill me. He must have stopped or turned.
I often think about that day (ok it was yesterday) and wish I had said something more, but I'm not really what more communication would have been possible other than "UGHHH"
Some watch birds.
I pay attention to bikes.
When a car flys by on the Highway, I'll speed up to see what bikes are on the roof rack. I check out the frames on bike trails. Bike Races.
I dont know if it's still the practice, but TREK would release it's bicycles in a color that was specific to the year and the configuration. I've seen 20 Trek 1000's of the same vintage and a dozen 1200's. I've seen 2 1420's, but in 15 years I've never seen another 1991 Trek 1400, in fact it's a pretty rare bike in any year. (the newer 1400's are Carbon and I dont consider them in the same lineage as these Aluminum frames.)
So yesterday, I am CRANKING my ass out of Philadelphia and into the headwinds of a coming storm. I see a bike that looks a hell of alot like mine 8 or 9 cars up. I catch the guy by the next light, and wow! It's the same freaking bike!
How does something so stupid make my whole week??????
UPDATED FOR BERT BANANAS
As my wife will testify from many years of agrivated observance, I dont talk to or meet new people very well, in fact it scares the shit out of me. The fact that I was so moved as to say anything to this guy was it's own miracle that will soon be recognized with a Federal Holiday.
Because I start out in Center City, the first twenty minutes of my ride home are the most hectic as there is no time to warm up. I have to sprint as soon as the first light turns green. At 5:30 the road is radiating all of the heat it collected that day with the mixing car/bus exhausts it just feels like there is no oxygen to be had. Being a fatass doesnt help either.
Like a Neanderthal marveling at the caves of Lascoux, I point a wet arm at his bike frame.
"SWEET" I say.
He's about my age but instead of biking clothes he is in just shorts and a t-shirt. He looks at my frame and is visibly shocked (and out of breathe as well).
"WHOA!"
"1991?"
"YEAH"
The light turned green and I went as fast as possible to stay ahead of the SEPTA bus that was trying to kill me. He must have stopped or turned.
I often think about that day (ok it was yesterday) and wish I had said something more, but I'm not really what more communication would have been possible other than "UGHHH"
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Day 4
I took yesterday off from biking because it was storming when I woke up. I was back at it today and very happy to see I had more gas in the can then in previous days. Nice to know I havent completely lost my ability to improve my fitness level. Cant wait to ride home...just gotta endure all the bullshit between rides...
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
.22
So there's news. Twice a year the IFOCE updates their rankings for Competitive Eaters. The big news is that everyone is talking about is that I've just moved from 39th up to 22nd. (OK, nobody is really talking about it but my kids because the BIG news is that Joey Chestnut is finally ranked above Takeru Kobayashi (the Japanese Hotdog Guy))
There was alot of debate if Joey should move ahead of him after only defeating him in a single contest, but I think this is fair as Joey competes several times a month (and almost always wins let alone set new world records) and Koby has only shown up in the US once since the last rankings. They are expected to meet again in the fall in the Krystal Burger Finals.
For me though, it's kind of cool to be ranked this high. The higher the ranking the more thought and math went into the decision. While I think 1 or 2 people behind me should ahead of me, I also think 1 or 2 ahead of me should be behind me. It's a pretty fair ranking.
There still a HUGE disparity between the top 8 (or so) Eaters and all the rest. In some cases they are exponentially better. I went to a wing contest a few months ago and Joey Chestnut ate more than me by a factor of 3! Next time I eat against him I will try to only get beat by double. (isnt that crazy????)
Wing Kong is 18th!!!!!!
There was alot of debate if Joey should move ahead of him after only defeating him in a single contest, but I think this is fair as Joey competes several times a month (and almost always wins let alone set new world records) and Koby has only shown up in the US once since the last rankings. They are expected to meet again in the fall in the Krystal Burger Finals.
For me though, it's kind of cool to be ranked this high. The higher the ranking the more thought and math went into the decision. While I think 1 or 2 people behind me should ahead of me, I also think 1 or 2 ahead of me should be behind me. It's a pretty fair ranking.
There still a HUGE disparity between the top 8 (or so) Eaters and all the rest. In some cases they are exponentially better. I went to a wing contest a few months ago and Joey Chestnut ate more than me by a factor of 3! Next time I eat against him I will try to only get beat by double. (isnt that crazy????)
Wing Kong is 18th!!!!!!
riding
I'm back to riding my bike to work again. By Friday evening I will have pedaled 100 miles this week. It's only day 2 and I'm freaking beat....happy but tired...that heat just sucks the power out of the legs.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Time for a 'No President Left Behind"
How the hell is hitting zero of sixteen benchmarks a 'mixed' report card? Not one? You couldnt get ONE thing done?
senseless
Friday, July 13, 2007
For those of you that believe everything happens for a reason (American Sonnet)
Always the signs:
I have stood in the corn at the 'Field of Dreams' in Iowa
and wrote 'Baseball is from Satan' in the Guestbook
Days later I biked to Chicago and sat with the Players Families
At Wrigley Field I saw the Cubs beat the Phillies
People always give me Baseball Tickets
And I always go, despite everything
God is sending me to the Phillies game tonight, Friday the 13th 2007
I am to bear witness to them as they earn their 10,000th loss
I dont even know who they are playing
This horrible game has been around long enough to achieve that?
I am Jonah about to be spit onto the beaches of Nineva
Finally, tonight I let them all know
What I really think of them
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Look! Something Shiny!
President bush is in some serious trouble with his ratings and his inability to conduct any kind of business in a legal way. Look for that stoopid colored Terror Warning Scale to come back bigtime like they used it when they needed people scared before the election.
Somehow seems appropriate
"I've got the world up my ass
and i'm gonna move fast
be the first
won't be the last
i've got the world up my ass"
-Circle Jerks
"World up my Ass"
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
End of a hot day
I fall into the chair and you crawl into my lap and feel bad for me that I dont get the summer off. The sorrow is so genuine that it's sweet. I love that you can have compassion.
Your sun-bleached hair smells like the summers of my own youth.
Chlorine and Sunscreen.
It's so familiar, and rushes images of running barefoot in the grass and getting in trouble for cannonballing the shallow end. My feet got hard and smooth from standing on Blacktop.
Mom would pack sandwiches, and I'd get a bomb pop from the snack bar. I'm proud that you can have the same, and makes my long days worthwhile.
Your sun-bleached hair smells like the summers of my own youth.
Chlorine and Sunscreen.
It's so familiar, and rushes images of running barefoot in the grass and getting in trouble for cannonballing the shallow end. My feet got hard and smooth from standing on Blacktop.
Mom would pack sandwiches, and I'd get a bomb pop from the snack bar. I'm proud that you can have the same, and makes my long days worthwhile.
Friday, July 06, 2007
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