Steakbellie

sounds like a lot of work to me (American Sonnet)

2010-05-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

woke up forgetting what I'm so angry about
all the time
or why I hate you

the inertia of the whole thing
considering all the energy I put into it
I might as well stay the course

plenty of smug fuckers
say they wouldn't change a thing
should get punched in the eye

i wouldn't change a thing either
but only because
i don't know what else to do

and too tired

to do it

finally equal (haiku)

2009-11-15T11:27:00.003-05:00

all of his bullshit
at the moment of impact
was thrown clear with him

spooky action from a distance (haiku)

2009-06-18T21:41:00.002-04:00

falling back to earth
raging winds pin my eyes closed
i hope you land first

why I'm exhausted but never get anywhere (haiku)

2009-04-28T22:16:00.004-04:00

opposing forces
rage and cancel each other
my paralysis

ho-hum (haiku)

2009-03-11T13:57:00.003-04:00

I am just the help
vacuuming Bowsers Castle
the belt is broken

I'll have the fillet marsalla (eight words)

2009-02-22T23:04:00.001-05:00

waitress
gave us details
about sons
botched
circumcision

wrestler down (eight words)

2009-02-16T15:22:00.002-05:00

mother's scream.
three hundred
others stopped
dead silent.

The kid was ok.
We were at a wrestling tournament with 600 kids and their families in the building. It’s not uncommon to see a wrestler crying. Kids get twisted, stretched and bumped all day long and more than a few of them will cry after their match. It’s an emotional and physical investment to fight another person.

What is surprisingly rare is that a kid actually gets hurt during a match. Seriously hurt, broken bones, joints and muscles. Plenty of brusies and scratches but you never see anything more serious. Unlike sports like football and soccer, there is very little momentum when the kids come together, so there is no impact.

Something happened on the mat next to me and the kid must have gone unconscious for a second. His mom let out a howl that was so incredibly haunting as she streaked across the mat towards him.

Now realize people were already yelling at the matches already being fought in the gym. There was easily 300 people in this particular gym waiting for their own matches to come up but there was something in her voice that silenced the entire gym. I looked over and the kid was sitting up, looking confused. Her voice haunted me for the rest of the day.

Reminds me of a line from a Pixies song:
"..the sound that a Mother makes, when the baby breaks...."

iridium under pressure (haiku)

2009-02-13T11:13:00.001-05:00

screaming momentum
order to a debris field
nothing you can sell

Dark Matter and Dark Matters

2009-02-11T13:40:00.001-05:00

all that junk between the stars
means something
to someone
I guess

mat time (eight words)

2009-02-09T15:48:00.000-05:00

dreams beaten from you
on one inch Resolite

another win for my boy (haiku)

2009-02-06T10:32:00.001-05:00

losing by 10 points
the wrestler hit the pancake
with 5 seconds left

I watched the whole feed to be sure he was really leaving (eight words)

2009-01-20T16:06:00.000-05:00

Marine One,
Take this
burden away.
maybe Texas?

Vonnegut might still be right (eight words)

2009-01-19T16:06:00.001-05:00

The Sirens of Titan
The Bitches of Ganymede

Water Landing

2009-01-19T14:53:00.003-05:00

Sure, no one’s surprised that I might challenge myself against the Espresso machine at my new job. It's not the sort of thing I announce, but just something I do to satisfy my curiosity for the world. How else am I to know where I fit in on this planet?

The big problem was after my 5th successful Espresso. I was buzzing along getting some serious work done. The ipod is jamming. The Secretary comes in and has an announcement.

Secretary: “Hey Guys, the water department just shut down all the water for blocks, broken pipe”
SB (smirking and shooting back the 6th Espresso): Good thing I’m not drinking water then, bitches!! (to myself of course)
Secretary: “and the toilets aren’t working now, should be back up in a few hours”
SB: “oh dear”

Andrew Wyeth

2009-01-16T16:32:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry about the death of Andrew Wyeth for alot of reasons. He lived just a few miles from me, and is one of the few painters I've admired. I'm only 20 minutes from his families Museum and I'm embarrassed to say I've never been. Another item for the list.

buzzzzzz.....

2009-01-07T09:22:00.001-05:00

Things are moving along. I'm in the middle of my first full week at the new job. Mostly they have had me writing analysis of their current projects. I should be doing some creative production in the near future.

What's funny about this place is that there is no coffee in the office. No coffee machines, no coffee pots, no coffee ice cream. What they do have is Espresso. Several old fashioned Espresso pots and a new fangled Espresso machine that takes Espresso grind cartridges.

The problem is that I drink unknowingly when I'm busy and without any kind of volume to slow me down I have been drinking shots of Espresso all day long. My goal today is to drink one of each of the seven varieties they have available. Really, what else is there to do?

disposition of the new employee

2009-01-05T14:13:00.000-05:00

bright shiny worker

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

whatever it takes

take a walk (eight words)

2008-12-27T09:14:00.001-05:00

tripped
in the forrest
and made
no sound

Steakbellie Lands the Job

2008-12-22T10:22:00.002-05:00

Great News!
I got the job.
I start tomorrow.

I also picked up a shitload of freelance work.
and now I'll be stuck working every night for a least a month to get both commitments fulfilled.

Being home I noticed that these dogs dont do shit all day. Seriously, they sleep all freaking day until somebody new comes home. I dont know what I thought was going on, but couldnt they be using their time more effectively?

What a life.
Time to get to work.....

The Crack of the Bat

2008-12-16T00:01:00.004-05:00

The last two weeks have been pretty productive and I'm doing ok. I have spent my time trying to drum up Freelance work in anticipation of a long job search. I have spent my time looking for a full time job. I have spent my time seeing how great my freaking family and friends are.

The phone calls and conversations I've had over the last 2 weeks have been amazing as friends have texted, emailed, and called their offers of help and love. Sometimes I find myself consoling the other person.

The truth is that I'm in a corner and in some trouble without a job. The truth is that, ironically, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. The last four years have been a Crescendo of me settling for something that wasn't a right fit and allowing myself to become afraid. Terrified of losing a job I didn't want. It's a remarkable situation that was twisting my insides.

So I've been applying to other jobs that potentially could be in my price range. I'm going back to a more Creative Environment hopfully but not expecting to truly be happy with work.

So I have an interview last week with a local design firm. I have everything they wishlisted in the posting. And after some conversation I am starting to feel that I want this job. The interview is going well and I've shown them all my web work. He mentions something about 3D Rendering to make a point, and I pull out a whole portfolio of 3D Rendered Illustrations. He starts talking Print Design and I drop the mother load of samples on the table.

The conversation shifts to a place I used to work in NYC.
He mentions the name of a famous designer I used to work for.
I'm surprised that he's heard of this designer and I mention a few nice things about him.
He mentions that he once saw the designer give a presentation on some of the work that was being done in the office and how incredible it was. I let him go on for a minute or two about what he saw.
It was like somebody was throwing me a meatball to knock out of the park.
Because everything he saw that day and still remembers years later.....

Was drawn by me.

I may not get the job
There are a few more people Interviewing for the position
They may be younger than me
They may be cheaper than me
They may have bigger boobs than me
But I feel pretty good to know I have value again.

Making Unemployment Look Sexy

2008-12-05T10:00:00.001-05:00

So the last few months have been somewhat hard on me. Business at work has been spiraling down and the tension within the hallways (and in my chest) has been spiraling up. A large part of the work done there is Hiring Services for other companies Nationwide (think background checks & drug tests). If nobody is hiring then there is little to do. It's been eating at me and I responded by stopping running and stopping sleeping.

Monday came and the announcement that WingBowl would ban all pro-eaters this year. (more on that later)

Tuesday I was laid off.

Wednesday I woke up with nowhere to go.

Surprisingly, I feel a little less stress now that I've been laid off. I couldn't control that event, but I can completely control my own job search. Currently I am looking for Full time work as a Graphic Artist or Interface/Web Designer. In the meantime I am looking to pick up as much Freelance Work as possible, as I once worked Freelance for 3 years straight without getting divorced.

If you would like to see some of what I do, check out:
http://www.livingstonvisual.com
My resume is located at the top of the that screen.
The website needs to be updated with my latest projects but the resume is current.

I design logos, build websites, flash animations, brochures and can truthfully say I am an 'Award-Winning' Illustrator for some of my 3-D Renderings. During the 2001 recession I did pretty well as a lot of companies dropped their Agencies and hired me to do their work (since I was the one doing their work via the Agencies anyway)

Steakbellie is sorry that we will have to cut some corners and unplug your Iron Lung for a few hours each day.

2008-12-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he gave you Young Joc when you asked for Young Jeezy

2008-12-05T09:09:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he made you unknowingly test his failed Urine to Drinking Water Conversion Machine. Sorry.

2008-12-05T09:09:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he forgot to pick you up from practice

2008-12-05T09:08:00.000-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he had to chose between Jen and Angelina

2008-12-05T09:07:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie sold his Soul for Egg n Pork Roll

2008-11-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he neglected to mention the beartrap he set in the kitchen. Very sorry

2008-11-24T10:59:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he threw away proof of your innocence but this room needed to be cleaned

2008-11-24T10:58:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he told you that you could be anything you want. Its not true in your case

2008-11-24T10:58:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry that he ate the last of the Captain Crunch and then put the empty box back on the shelf

2008-11-24T10:57:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry that your toolbag floated away. He thought it would be funny to undo the tether as a joke and didnt realize the bag cost $100,000

2008-11-20T13:35:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he told your children that they might be adopted

2008-11-20T13:34:00.004-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he let the elevator doors close in your face. You were running and pleading with your hands full but he pretended not to notice

2008-11-20T13:34:00.003-05:00

Hard Times - Heavy Rotation

2008-11-19T16:43:00.003-05:00

This is one of the most powerful, yet completely unlistenable albums ever recorded. I've become reaquainted with it after almost a decade and I just cant stop playing it over and over again.....

Steakbellie is sorry he took your nightlight, but it was late and the walls were closing in on him again

2008-11-18T13:51:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he took your watch. But it was pretty and he needed to know what time it was

2008-11-18T13:50:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry they couldnt save the toes

2008-11-18T13:49:00.001-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry about the inappropriate thing he did while wearing your new Brett Farve jersey

2008-11-18T10:51:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry the police blamed you for the fire. We were just trying to stay warm

2008-11-18T10:35:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he didnt believe you about the peanut allergy and wont sneak them into your food again

2008-11-18T09:02:00.002-05:00

Steakbellie is sorry he didnt mention the spinach in your teeth

2008-11-18T09:01:00.002-05:00

good morning (eight words)

2008-11-17T10:13:00.002-05:00

your scowling face.
it exhausts me.
i'm spent.

Todays Eight Word Poem

2008-11-14T14:51:00.004-05:00

The Army has opened a recruitment center in a local mall here. The dramatic duotone Posters all of the inside of the train say it features several simulators: Apache, Blackhawk & Humvee, and that they have an arcade and cafe.

As a guy, these simulation things look fun, but only because they are not real. Now that I am an adult I dont take for granted for a single minute how very different and horrifying the real experience must be. Nor can I fully express the gratitude that I have that their are people willing to defend us when called.

I'm curious how effective this new recruitment angle will be at attracting the video gaming kids of today. I can remember a recruiter cornering me in a hallway of my High School

Joe the Recruiter: (dressed impressivley with lots of medals and insignia and stripes)"So what are your plans after High School."

Teenage SB: (also dressed impressivley in an Iron Maiden 3/4 sleeve concert t-shirt and some well worn black corderoys) "Uhhhh...going to college"

Joe the Recruiter: (physically blocking SB from going to the lunchroom. An all around BAD move if you want SB to ever join your little Army) "We have over 100 different jobs that can give you real world experience AND give you money for college. What is it that you plan to study?"

Teenage SB: "Uhhhh...art"

Joe the Recruiter: (silence)

So this morning, I saw someone had scrawled something in ballpoint on one of these posters. I was doubly delighted to see that it was eight words long. Here's what it said:

It is a war crime
to recruit children

hope (haiku)

2008-11-14T09:39:00.003-05:00

children at the wake
an ugly girl with flowers
unopened presents

curse of the provider

2008-11-13T09:17:00.003-05:00

Some men spend a lifetime
trying to be
the best worker
ever.

here comes the tide (haiku)

2008-11-12T09:00:00.002-05:00

i know how this ends
it is inevitable
i just dont know when

Fill the void with Viagra ads on November 5th (eight words)

2008-11-03T10:13:00.001-05:00

I'm looking forward
to messages
unapproved by
anyone

Philly was rough on the Rays

2008-11-03T08:56:00.006-05:00

Philly was rough on the Rays
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

The Phillies Parade pretty much wiped out Halloween for the people of Philadelphia. At least as far as adults dressing up anyway. Here's a guy who combined the two for an awesome dead Rays Zombie.

Thats the funny thing about Halloween, you can flavor your costume any of four ways.

You can be a Bride
You can be a sexy Bride
You can be a dead Bride
or you can be a sexy dead Bride.

The Phillies Parade

2008-10-31T08:22:00.020-04:00

Crowd Building before parade
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

The Parade starts right in front of my building at noon. I'm expecting a complete madhouse today. The wife and kids are coming in to watch

8:03 Getting off the subway and people are ALREADY lined up against the barricades and cheering the buses going by. They are 4 hours early.

8:53 getting louder and louder out there. Cars laying on the horn, crowds cheering

Police Escort
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

9:30 Minimum 2 Deep against the barricades with Thousands milling about behind them. My wife and kids cant get a train...they're all full!!!

10:14 Wife and kids finally crammed onto train. She held up the phone as the passengers roared 'LETS GO PHILLIES'

10:33 this is getting ridiculous.....

The Philly Phanatic
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

10:41 Someone has a monstrous music system playing queens ‘we are the champions’ and THOUSASNDS of people are singing along right now.

10:47 A column of 50+ Police Vehicles with full sirens is passing

11:04 Police have closed Market Steet to Traffic

11:25 I am headed down into the fray soon

Phillys Win!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

1:13 that was completely insane. cell phones arent working in the city so i couldnt twitter it, hundreds of thousands packed the streets for the parade. Tickertape pouring down from the skyscrapers. A see of drunk Phillies Fans in red.

Yo Philly!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Confetti
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

After the Phillies parade
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Steakbellie is no longer sorry

2008-10-30T16:32:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he didnt tell you he was lying about being fluent in French, before you bought the tickets

2008-10-30T15:59:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry for switching your Vicodin with Viagra

2008-10-30T15:43:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he followed you through the Parking Lot and all the way back to your house

2008-10-30T15:31:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry that he has been flushing a handful of Concrete MIx down your toilet everytime you invite him over

2008-10-30T14:35:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he told you he had date for the prom, when you both knew he didn't

2008-10-30T14:26:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he wasnt strong enough to be your man

2008-10-30T14:22:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he never won anything

2008-10-30T14:20:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he left his underwear on the kitchen counter, again

2008-10-30T14:03:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he tried to wipe dirt off your face even though he KNEW it was a mole

2008-10-30T13:48:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he sold your World Series Tickets

2008-10-30T13:44:00.000-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he secretly moved your car while you were at lunch

2008-10-30T13:38:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he made you clean all the dog poop off the lawn on your birthday.

2008-10-30T13:02:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry about pairing the red wine with the fish

2008-10-30T11:27:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he spent the office pool lottery money on comics and then lied about it

2008-10-30T11:26:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he cried during your budget meeting

2008-10-30T11:25:00.001-04:00

Steakbellie is sorry he took an anonymous bite from your sandwich and returned it to the lunchroom fridge

2008-10-30T11:23:00.000-04:00

YEAH!!!!

2008-10-30T00:14:00.001-04:00

So many of the broadcasters are drunk!!!!!!!

Alot of fires, alot of us idiots turning over cars.

YAY!

The First Stone

2008-10-29T16:10:00.002-04:00

I was going to write a natsygram post about Beyonce insisting that people call her 'Sasha Fierce' from now on. (I wasnt kidding when I said I read those stupid magazines) I remembered that I get mail and even once a wedding invite that actually said "Mr & Mrs Steakbellie" written in Caligraphy.

Wife wasnt too happy about that one.....

My new tatto (eight words)

2008-10-28T15:50:00.001-04:00

if found;
deliver me to
Nebraskan
Emergency Room

Tuesday (eight words)

2008-10-28T11:02:00.001-04:00

calls handled
in
the order
they are
received

without foundation (haiku)

2008-10-28T10:53:00.003-04:00

position of strength
complacency erodes it
crumbled and rusted

put ME in coach (eight words)

2008-10-28T09:42:00.001-04:00

$100,000,000 and
cant play
in the
rain.

sissies.

Eight Words from Stall #1 in the Millenium Hotel (eight words)

2008-10-21T10:32:00.001-04:00

"Sound like
a couple
of faggots
to me"

Philadelphia 3-Day Walk!

2008-10-17T12:55:00.012-04:00

My wife has started her 3-Day walk for Breast Cancer! It's a 60 mile walk to raise money and awareness in the Philadelphia Area. Also walking with her is Competitive Eater Wing Kong and his wife, and neighbor Amy. I will be sort of Live Blogging this over the next 3 days.

DAY 1
5:30 Leaves out the front door with her suitcase in search of adventure!

6:30 am Runs into Jenne at Willow Grove. Jenne is like the head muckety-muck of this event and someone that we've known for a few years through our blogs. She pretty much rocks.

9:30 am Multiple texts received from Wing Kong that are lies.

10:30 am Phonecall from my honey! Everything is going great and they are stopping to pee somewhere. Has a headache though.

1:04 pm Phonecall! She's at the lunch-stop 10.8 miles in. Says the bottoms of their feet hurt. They are laughing alot. Says she saw 'Hub' (Jenne's husband who we went to college with, says he looks the same. jerk.)

1:58 pm text: "8 miles to go!"

4:24 pm laughing delieriously, says knees hurt. 2 miles to go!

5:42 pm She made it TWENTY MILES!!!!

6:30 pm My girl is TIRED!!!

DAY 2

5:56 am I text her. "Do you need anything from home?" "The Car."

9:00 am I bring two of the boys down to Manajunk and we walk a mile or two with her. She's got bandages on her blistered feet and cant stop too long. She looks great!

1:59 pm Passing City Hall! Still moving!

4:30 am She's back at Camp and looking through the Memorial Tents. Very Moving.

DAY 3

8:30 am Phone Call. Walking and hurting. Feet are bleeding. Bad Blisters.....little bit crying

11:45 amMe and the boys head down to Bryn Mawr and wait with signs we made. They say "Walk Baby Walk!" We cheer on the crowds as they march by. We finally see her and she's moving pretty good. Lots of kisses from the boys but she's afraid to stop for too long

3:32 mmSHE MADE IT!!! She's going to eat and wait for us at the 5:30 pm Closing Ceremony!

4:00 pmSHE MADE IT!!! Me and the boys leave for the 5:30 pm Closing Ceremony! We are intending to be early and get a good seat.

6:15 pm20 Minute ride to Villanova takes TWO HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. Apparently the Three Day is soooo successful that the streets, parking lots and stadium are completely overrun with gridlock traffic of loved ones trying to catch the event. Traffic extends for miles for the exit on 476 North and South. Everyone is frustrated and I get in a verbal fight with some asshole who tries to pass me the shoulder about an hour into the gridlock. I wanted to kill him. My Mom and Dad make it from Jersey about the same time because of the traffic.

6:16 pmCatch the final 15 minutes of the ceremony and hear a wonderful speech by Jenne. Wow!! After years of reading each others blogs I finally get to meet her in person. She's very busy wrapping things up so it's only for a minute, but it's kind of crazy that their is a real person on the other end of her blog! Also get to see her husband who I already know and adore from college. He looks awesome.

6:30 pmMy honey is emotionally and physically spent. What an incredible event. We goin collect her bags and those of Wing Kong & Wife and head to the van. Traffic is unbelievable and it takes 1.5 HOURS just to exit the Parking Lot!!!! My poor honey is exhausted and tired and has the worst blisters I've ever seen on feet. My Dad WALKS to a local pizza shop and returns with pizza for everyone. We still hadnt moved. Great Pizza.

in my fridge bag (haiku)

2008-10-16T10:24:00.003-04:00

apples and oatmeal
carrots, spinach, celery
yogurt and walnuts

a new hope (haiku)

2008-10-16T10:09:00.001-04:00

plotting and planning
we can make this worthwhile
the end of silence

Interview Alert

2008-10-15T16:27:00.002-04:00

I will be on BBC Radio 2 this Friday October 17th at 1:45 Eastern Time. This is their evening drive home radio show and their SportsCaster wants to hear about my setting of the Haggis Record and about Competive Eating in General. Said it should be about 5 minutes.

You can listen over the internets here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/

I've filled in the details on Wing Kongs Bean record post and now I need to fill the Haggis post with photos and details. So much to do!

Haggis World Record 3lbs in 8 minutes - Steakbellie

2008-10-08T14:20:00.005-04:00

Wikipedia's Entry for Haggis

Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish.

There are many recipes, most of which have in common the following ingredients: sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately three hours.

If you look further down in the wiki, you'll see that I own the record for eating the stuff. (thanks Mathis!!)

Doesnt sound all that appetizing though when you put it like that. If you think about it, it isnt that much different than Hot Dogs, Sausage or Scrapple, except it is Sheep based and not Pig based, and despite tasting ok it smells god-aweful.

Haggis is often contested accross the globe at Fairs and Festivals but because of how difficult the food is to eat, it is never more than a pound. My goal was to triple the most Haggis ever eaten and to do it in a conventional 8 minute format.

Coordinating approval from the International Federation of Competitive Eaters and the Preston and Steve Show at WMMR took over a month. The IFOCE requires an EMT be present at all contests, and the legal team at WMMR was relieved to hear it.

Finding Haggis in Pennsylvania was extremely hard and I scoured the internet and specialty meat markets in Philadelphia. Eventually my brother was able to provide a source in New Jersey.(thanks Joe!) I bought 6lbs of frozen Haggis over the phone that my Dad Fed-Ex'd to me still frozen. (thanks Dad!)

My stomach capicity is over 6lbs of food, but I knew that the high fat content (like eating cold sticks of butter)would make this food very difficult to get and keep down. Because the actual Haggis was so expensive to buy and ship, I used Scrapple to test my capacity. 3lbs would be very hard to hit.

Wow!
A very tough morning for me but I pulled it off! There is a ton of video and pictures and I will add all of that to this post as it comes in. It was the first time I ever got nauseous in an eating contest, but I powered through it and feel great now.

Funny: My pee is bright yellow like I took vitamins!!!!

Baked Bean World Record 84oz in 58 seconds - Wing Kong

2008-10-08T14:19:00.008-04:00

He ate TWO of these suckers!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

This was just amazing. There was a ton of photos and video verifying the weighing and then the eating.

The Pork & Bean Record stood for 4 years. It's a very odd quantity because it was originally sponsored by 84 Lumber. They had the Eaters eat 84oz of Pork and Beans (around 5.2lbs!) and the first person to finish the bowl won the contest. Thats different than most contests today that have a standard time of 8 minutes and the Eaters eat as much as they can in that time. Some great names of Competitive Eating took part in this contest and the best time ever recorded was a minute and 22 seconds.

Now everybody loves them some beans, so it's a highly respected food in this country. Think of the amazing power they have over your gastric processes and yet you continue to come back for more! If Potato Chips made you fart like a dragon, you probably wouldnt eat them as often as you do baked beans.

I think what makes this stunt so difficult is:
1. You have to be able to hold 5+ lbs of food
2. You have to also be able to swallow without chewing
3. You have to have a wife that will put up with your stupid ass when you do some crazy shit like eat 5lbs of Pork and Beans.

Wing Kong Crushing the Pork & Bean Record!
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

While some eaters have one or two of these traits, Wing Kong has a fine balance of all three. He first discovered his ability a few years ago when he ate a few lbs of them to get into Wing Bowl. I think back then he realized he actually had a chance to break the record.

A few months ago Wing Kong contacted the Preston & Steve show on a whim to see if they would go for him breaking the stunt on the air. The guys at the radio station could sense the potential for collossal failure and good radio and signed him up.

Because we are contracted by the IFOCE, Kong had to get special permission to do the stunt on the air. The biggest concern is safety and we had to hire an EMT to be present while Micah ate the beans. Choking to Death while eating Beans is comical and good for radio, but bad for breaking a world record.

Empty Pork & Bean Bowl
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

The folks at the Preston & Steve were very accomodating and helpful. They were truly fascinated that a person could actually eat that much food at once and were rooting for him. They actually run the most organized and professional studio I've been in.

Having seen Wing Kong do the stunt several times in the months prior, I knew that everything hinged on his swallowing rythem. He would need to get the bulk of the beans down in the first 20 seconds and be careful not to swallow too much air in the process. An airbubble in the stomach would cause a burp that could interupt his attempt.

Not only did he break the record, but he crushed it finishing the whole amount in only 58 Seconds!!!

WMMR.com has a podcast posted of the entire show.
http://www.wmmr.com/goout.php?url=http://prestonandsteve.libsyn.com/
you want the podcast of 10/08/08

There is also a YouTube Video of his stunt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=halXwKY_NKA
It's worth seeing.

How I will get a World Record

2008-10-06T12:09:00.009-04:00

haggis
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

This Wednesday morning I will be on the radio in an attempt to set the Haggis 8 Minute World Record. As you may know Haggis is a traditional Scottish Meal made up of the innards of a sheep ground and mixed with some oatmeal. It is extremely Rich and fatty and is not unlike Scrapple except that it smell is more like death. Tastes ok though.

Because the food is so rich and satiating, there are NO RECORDS that exceed 1lbs. I have found several contests that are contested annually (including in Scotland, Western PA and California) but they all feature a single 1lbs of Haggis and the winner is the one who can finish it the fastest.

The fastest result is 1:30, and I fully anticipate to eat my first lbs in under 1 minute. The remaining 7 minutes is where all the trouble starts and I will be struggling to break 3lbs and in my fantasy world eat 4lbs. My capacity is more than double that weight, but this is more about intestinal fortitude on my part, being able to keep eating when all of my senses are opposed.

I can pretty much garuntee that the rest of the day wont be much fun.

Wing Kong and His Ride
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Also attempting to break a World Record will be the great Wing Kong. He will be attempting to break Dale Boones long standing Pork & Beans Record of 84oz in 1:52. I've seen him practice this stunt and it is just so incredibly amazing! It may be one of my favorite stunts of all time, the bowl is as big as a steering wheel. I'm certain I could never come close to that speed in this disclipline.

Eating against the clock is much harder than eating against a rival, so we will both have to be on our game to create a record that will last. This will be a first record for each of us.

This whole thing has come full circle for me as eating Haggis was my very first stunt that I did to get into WingBowl 14, 3 years ago. I forget if it was 1.5 or 2lbs I ate that day but I know that I kept getting phantom wiffs of it for months afterwards. The smell kinda haunted me.

Whats also funny is that this simple moment on the radio may be how I am remembered anecdotaly for years to come. I have spent a whole life, loving and working and someday the only thing my great-grandchildren will know about me is that I once ate more sheep guts than anyone else. Ever. What do you know about YOUR great-grandparents?

The radio station we will be on is WMMR out of Philadelphia. We will be on Wednesday October 8th, 2008 sometime after 8am EST.

They will offer Podcasts and Videos of the show here and you might be able to listen live.

http://wmmr.com/jock_preston_and_steve.shtml

dirty

2008-10-02T12:35:00.003-04:00

Worth Sitting Through The Commercials Unless You Are A 'Value's Voter'

2008-09-30T15:26:00.003-04:00

If you havent scene this it's SNL's second week of fun with Sarah W. Palin. Whats really scary is that they kept alot of Couric's Interview word for word.

an open haiku to congress (haiku)

2008-09-30T12:25:00.001-04:00

to spend is to tax
you are blowing our future
better learn chinese

father to son (eight words)

2008-09-30T12:22:00.001-04:00

mud
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

how exactly
do you
think you're
getting home?

Ode to Fusion Man, National Hero of Switzerland

2008-09-26T15:44:00.004-04:00

You know there was a time when if someone put on a fancy silk suit and strapped themselves to a rocket you could be damn sure they were an American. Can anyone be surprised now to hear that this man is from Switzerland? Only a month ago they finished building a Proton Collider, and they ice the cake with Fusion Man.

He built that Rocket Powered Wing all by himself and then shot himself over the English Channel.

Sure we've made inroads with Hot Dog Eating and Bicycle Racing, but since the death of Evel Kineval who can we look to for Rocketing Across Canyoning?

Who?

We have the guy with the lawn chair and the Helium Balloons, I dont want to get down on him. He's a good guy.

I think as Americans, the world is looking for us to do something stupid (that doesnt involve killing Arabs) and we have been letting them down.

I see Fusion Man as a wake up call to all of us as a Nation. This is the launch of Sputnik, People!

I need to learn how to weld. I need to do something great.

i was the sweetest, idealist, most bowl cutted little guy

2008-09-25T23:24:00.002-04:00

If I could relive
my youth
I'd make a big Iron Fist
with my Dad's Propane Torch
in our Epoxy coated basement
and I wouldn't be afraid
to beat the shit out of a few fuckers

a short but distinct list (eight words)

2008-09-25T22:25:00.000-04:00

i dream
of punching
you in
the eye

i've always felt you can burn the impurities from your body

2008-09-24T16:48:00.005-04:00

One of those days that when I get home, I am going to dump a pile of cayenne pepper powder on my food....so much that it hurts alittle bit going down. so much that my wife can smell it from accross the table and start sneezing....so much that I'll instantly start sweating on my forehead and on the back of my neck. If there were a record for cayenne pepper, i'd own it tonight.

Crazy as it is, thats what will make me feel better.

I'll say the exact same joke that I've said for years too. 'Boy Honey, these noodles sure are spicy.' as if they came like that. as if they were supposed to be red and not pale yellow.

I used to use Hot Sauce, but I'd put so much on my food that the sodium would keep me thirsty for days.

Just a shitty day, and i'm hoping to sweat it out. If you put enough on, you'll forget about everything else. I promise.

The Law of Diminshing Expectations

2008-09-23T16:48:00.004-04:00

I was planning on running the Philadelphia Marathon on November 23. I have an online schedule of training that I've been following for a few months. I've been able to train during the week, running 3-5 miles 3 days a week, but havent been able to pull of the long runs on the weekends. These weekend runs are really important as they are the ones that really prepare you for the humbling punishment of a marathon. I've run this one before. Just a long time ago, and somewhat skinnier.

Reasons I havent been to run on the last 3 weekends?
* Hamburger Eating Championship
* Kids Football Games & Painting Bathroom
* Really Drunk

I've gotten up to 7.5 miles in my long runs, but really people, it's the UGLIEST 7 miles you've ever seen. I feel like a shopping cart with that one fucked up wheel. Shuddering down the road drifting from one side of the road to the other, dropping sweat and profanity all over the road. It's bad.

There was a time that I'd make myself do the Marathon anyway...or just straight out Quit. "Suck it up Asshole."
Black or White

Along with the Grey that some of you avery kind people have pointed out in my beard I think I have a middleground decision.
I'm going to run the Philadelphia Half-Marathon on the same day.

I have enough training to pull it off already and I wont be completely killing myself to finish.

trapped (eight words)

2008-09-23T16:32:00.002-04:00

sometimes
i
just
want
to
go
far
away

it's out there (eight words)

2008-09-23T15:03:00.001-04:00

i looked
for it
and i
found it

Sarah W. Palin Babyname Generator!!!

2008-09-19T16:44:00.001-04:00

Mine is:
Open Aircraft Palin!

Get Ready for the World Biggest Money-Grab!

2008-09-18T16:27:00.005-04:00

Just when I thought we couldnt get screwed any worse, Bush is about to use taxpayer money to bail out and reward Companies who did stupid and unethical things. The people who actually hold those mortgages wont get any releif, but the burden of this whole fiasco is about to be put on the Middle Class....or more likely the Children of the Middle Class.

Not only are we borrowing money from China to pay for this war, but we're borrowing even more to pretend our Economy is ok. George Bush has the Country living off a credit card and doesnt care about the bill because he will be gone by then.

Be very afraid when the Administration is moving this quickly and the Stock Market jumps 800 points in 12 hours...They know who's getting the money!

The Hopeful Republican Astronaut (eight words)

2008-09-18T16:27:00.003-04:00

I can see
the moon
from my
house!

(thanks anon comment on previous post!)

Finally a Republican Realist

2008-09-17T16:05:00.006-04:00

Here's some quotes from an Interiew with Republican Senator Chuck Hagel considering how his party is selling Palin. Emphasis by me.

"She doesn't have any foreign policy credentials," Hagel said in an interview published Thursday by the Omaha World-Herald. "You get a passport for the first time in your life last year? I mean, I don't know what you can say. You can't say anything."

Could Palin lead the country if GOP presidential nominee John McCain could not?

"I think it's a stretch to, in any way, to say that she's got the experience to be president of the United States," Hagel said.

McCain and other Republicans have defended Palin's qualifications, citing Alaska's proximity to Russia. Palin told ABC News, "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."

Hagel took issue with that argument. "I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia,'" he said. "That kind of thing is insulting to the American people."

Hagel, a senior member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has been a vocal critic of the Bush administration since the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

I'm a Feminist, but there's no way in Hell I'm voting for someone just because they are a woman. This woman believes that the Earth was created by God just 7,000 years ago and that an actual Adam and Eve co-existed with DINOSAURS. We just spent the last 8 years under the helm of someone else with a childlike fantasy distortion and it has destroyed our Country.

She believes that the Iraq War is a 'Task From God' although recently tried to backpedal and say she was quoting Abe Lincoln during the Civil War. Who actually believes she knows anything about Abe Lincoln and would have been able to draw from his writing for some speech she was giving in a Church? Clearly that was some Karl Rove type coach trying to package her extremist views as informed or as Centrist.

It would be a bad message to the rest of the world if McCain became President, but I know he'd be better than the current embarrassment. If Palin were to somehow to end up President, I think it would be the end of our Country. We dont need any more lunatics at the helm.

And why do these freaks always think God is on our side?

ugh.

2008-09-17T16:05:00.004-04:00

The Boys
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

I realized this morning that it's been years since one of my sons stood below me and raised his arms to be picked up. A good portion of young parenthood is spent carrying those little monkeys around. They are too tired or asleep or dont like the feeling of sand on their feet.

It's exhausting but it's feels so good to have their arms around your neck.

They are too big or too proud now to need me like that. I dont think I could even pick up the older two in anything other than a Firemans Carry anymore. Sometimes I get to carry the baby to bed when he falls asleep in my room though. It's nice because I can smell his sweaty hair.

I remmber thinking about this years ago when the oldest was breaking 100lbs. I started lifting weights so I wouldnt have to tell him I couldnt carry him.

There must have been a last time though. I'm sad because I cant remember it. If I knew it would be the last time, I probably wouldnt have put them down though....
:(

I miss that.

Neo Foreign Policy (eight words)

2008-09-17T16:05:00.002-04:00

i can see russia
from
my
bathroom
window

MOM IS HALFWAY DONE WITH CHEMO TODAY!!!

2008-09-17T16:05:00.001-04:00

and I love her with all my heart!

knoxville (haiku)

2008-09-16T15:54:00.002-04:00

rain on the fairgrounds
darkness replaces the crowds
he was so damn close